Like a bad episode of Celebrity Rehab, drama on Twitter when it doesn’t involved me SUCKS ME IN. I can’t look away. I must find out who comes out the other side as the crazy person.
It’s social media at its best.
It’s social media at its worst.
It’s one for the internet history books.
Here’s what the Team Kevin Smith twitterers imagined the Southwest PR rep wrote in her journal about her night of drama:
Sometime before February 13th
You will NOT believe the awesome job I just got. All of my 6 years of college totally paid off and I got the job I really super wanted. I’m gonna be the lead twitterer for a major airline!!!1!! I’m super duper excited to work with an awes0me company like Southwest Airlines!
I’ll get to stay home and Twitter all day long. Super awesome. All I have to do is tell people who whine about their tickets to call the Southwest 1-800 number and wait on hold for 45 minutes. It’s super duper easy cheesy.
** I can’t believe how lucky I am. **
Saturday, February 13th ~ 9pm est
You will NOT believe that I have to actually sit on twitter on Valentine’s Day Eve instead of go out with my fiancee. I mean, he planned an awesome dinner at Olive Garden, but noooooo… I have to be on the stupid computer answering stupid customer questions just to tell them to call the stupid 1-800 number. GAH. I wanna go OUUUUUUT….
** I can’t believe how much this sucks. **
Saturday, February 13th ~ 10pm est
You would NOT believe that I have to respond to some fat guy on twitter who got kicked off a plane. I mean, he’s fat. He needs at least two seats. What’s his deal? Doesn’t EVERYbody know fat people need two seats? So what if he could put down the armrest like our policy claims is the difference between fat (two seats) or not fat (one seat). He deserves to be kicked off.
GAH. What a whiner.
** I can’t believe people are so stoopid. **
Saturday, February 13th ~ 10:03pm est
You would NOT believe how many twitteres are harrassing ME. Like it’s MY fault that guy got kicked off the plane. Whatevs. He got his $100 voucher. What else does he expect? A cookie? (ha! a cookie for a fat guy. LOLZ)
** I can’t believe people like this guy. **
Saturday, February 13th ~ 10:30pm est
You would not believe how many times my boss has called my cell. I’m SO not answering that. I mean, this is all gonna go away overnight, right? It’s not like people are going to talk about this in the morning, right? I already tried to DM him to give him another $100, but he’s not even following me. Like, everyone should follow me, I mean SouthwestAir. We’re like the best airline in the world.
** I can’t believe I have to do this dumb job on a Saturday night when I could be making out with my fiancee at the Olive Garden. **
Saturday, February 13th ~ 11:00pm est
You would not believe that I got fired. Even after I wrote that super awesome post on the Southwest blog about how it’s totally not our fault that that fat guy got kicked off, they fired me. I even titled it something super duper cute ’cause he’s all “Silent Bob” and he’s not so silent. I mean, that’s a gem. And it’s totally not our fault he couldn’t fly on our plane just cause he could put down his armrests but was still fat.
** I can’t believe the internet hates me. **