My family has a quirk. Or as some people may call it, a sickness.
We were inbred with a part of our brain that does not allow for grammatical errors to go unnoticed.
My sister and I grew up living with a corrective father who would publicly chide us for our improper usage of the words “brought vs. taken,” “farther vs. further,” and overusing the word, “like.” He only corrected us because he loved us and he didn’t want us to embarrass him with our uneducated speaking language. I don’t ever remember him correcting my written language. I was in high school before every household owned a desktop computer, so he would bring home his 10 pound laptop from work and type my papers for me. I have a feeling he would correct my grammatical errors out of fatherly love.
You’d imagine our familial surprise when I didn’t pass the basic high school English exam to go straight into English 101 when I started college. After completing high school with As & Bs in AP English, AP Economics, and AP American History, (but never actually taking an AP exam,) I thought it would be smooth sailing into basic college entry classes.
That first semester in Remedial English was probably the most valuable class I took in all of my college-going years. Unlike learning about transverse triangle cosign balance sheets while naming every phalanges, I actually use the lessons I was taught in Remedial English. I just use these lessons to chide my family and friends for their improper grammar usage.
And, hey. I know I make grammatical mistakes. I’m not perfect. I’ve said for forever that if I make a grammatical or spelling error in any of my published works, LET ME KNOW. I’ll be mortified at my error, change it, and think highly of your knowledge. If I could send you a gold star for your efforts, I would.
I tend to find friends in people who are equally grammar conscious. People like alimartell who wrote an open letter to a published author LIKE A BOSS.
This is the part in the story where you can start to feel sorry for Patrick who is known to make grammatical and spelling errors on a regular basis. I kind of applaud him for his
lack of care freedom in expression. As a computer programming nerd, language details are beneath him. If the code works, his job is done. If only my life were that simple…
Instead, I was raised by a father who insisted on proper spoken grammar and a mother who is a homemaking perfectionist. FEEL MY PAIN, NERDS.
My sister, Jackie, is a Media Relations manager for an attractions company who is responsible for sending email press releases to members of the press. I’m not “member of the press,” but I’m on her email list to receive her publicity emails. We are really good at proofreading each other’s professional works, probably because we enjoy pointing out the other’s mistakes. When there’s something extra super important to be edited, we send each other the work to be read and corrected. Of course, she’s a super professional writer and can edit her own daily press releases, so it’s rare that she sends me things to be edited.
So when I received an email from her as her professional self as “Jackie [last name redacted to protect my life], Media Relations, [company name redacted to protect my life],” I looked it over and noticed a grammatical error. Being the
annoying nice sister of which I strive, I sent her an email:
I’m guessing that she’s really busy doing real work today and is now planning my death, or she’s just not the sister I thought I knew.
I have a feeling I’m just that big of a grammar douche, and she’s going to leave a comment listing all of the errors in this post.
Today’s Memes Suck: My Annoying Quirk is brought to you by Memes Suck: Bringing Old School Blogging Back.
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