Like a ninja.

by Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] on May 11, 2010

in Farts and Other Stuff

I’m pretty much an inspiration.

Who wouldn’t be inspired to have my skillz as an artiste? I have skillz you don’t even know about.

That’s how good I am.

Like a ninja on crack rock.

Where crack equals processed sugars and unnatural quantities of baked goods.

I can float like a butterfly and sting like a wasp with my skillz to out-smart you and your devious ways.

You won’t even know it’s coming when it happens.

I’ll be there with my skillz. And my skillz will not even be noticed as skillz.

My skillz have skillz.

Like a mother truckin ghost whisperer, only much more fuckable than Jennifer Love Hewitt yet not as hookerish as Pamela Anderson Lee.

I’m in your ear. Your red devil in disguise as an overweight housewife.

A ninja on crack rock.

Sweet sweet sugary crack rock.

I’m your worst nightmare and your best friend all rolled up into one gooey, fluffy 33-year-old mound with a pretty face.

I am.

Your muse.

Your sweet sweet devil.

I can teach you my ways of getting out of every doing a single thing you don’t want to do for the rest of your life.

I am a procrastinating, dodging ninja.

You wish you had my skillz.

I will teach you, young Padawan.

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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Mandi Bone May 11, 2010 at 11:41 am

Fuck yes! you are a ninja. I mean who talked me into blogging? Blogging alone takes up way more hours than it should. But yet sounds important. Not now I am blogging.
.-= Mandi Bone´s most Awesome last blog ..A happy post =-.

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2 The Husband May 11, 2010 at 11:51 am

Ok, what the hell are you talking about? lol
.-= The Husband´s most Awesome last blog ..Happy Mother’s Day =-.

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3 Mishi May 11, 2010 at 11:58 am

Are you smoking pot and not telling me?
.-= Mishi´s most Awesome last blog ..Daily Cup of Love Winner! =-.

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4 Nona May 11, 2010 at 1:18 pm

Kick-ass poetry. I like it.
.-= Nona´s most Awesome last blog ..Enough already =-.

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5 Robyn May 11, 2010 at 2:53 pm

Whoa! LOL…is that caffeine AND sugar talking?!

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6 TexasRed May 11, 2010 at 6:19 pm

*snicker*
.-= TexasRed´s most Awesome last blog ..Teaser Tuesday – Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter =-.

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7 ThePeachy1 May 11, 2010 at 10:34 pm

uhm… it’s possible, you are my long lost younger twin. just sayin..

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8 Zoeyjane May 12, 2010 at 5:35 am

I’m pretty confused. But also picturing you in a red satin robe and boxing gloves.

You know, the usual.

PS. I got a virus warning, the first time I tried to load yer blawg.
.-= Zoeyjane´s most Awesome last blog ..On little boxes made of ticky tacky =-.

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9 Movie Soundtracks On CD May 26, 2010 at 3:16 am

the useful blog…wow !!!!

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