My Long Lost Brother-in-Lawish

A couple of months ago, I found my long lost brother-in-lawish. I don’t recall (mostly b/c I don’t feel like going into Cre8 to look it up) exactly when it happened, but one or the other of us started sending messages on Cre8 like, “hey, you’re cool,” or “you’ve got the most beautifulist girls ever.”

Whatever the hey, we discovered that we might be related. It was kinda freaky. Like really freaky.

Turns out there’s an Irish guy living in Holland who sounds exactly like my husband. Really a lot like.

cue Twilight Zone muzak

Same surname somewhere down the line, same family history matching up, same Irish sarcasm, and same love for music and sports as my husband.

Through Cre8, we started chatting on IM immediately, and still chat nearly everyday. I’ll be honest – I did find it kind of weird to talk to a GUY on IM instead of the other ladies I chat with (hey, Sassy, VDog, Dawn, Dawn, Kim, Mishi!).

But he’s not like a regular guy – he’s a guy trying to knock up his wife. Like bumping some serious uglies all the time. This equals non-threatening.

After months of long-lost brother/sisterish banter, I never knew he had a heart. A feeling heart. All I get is a sarcastic bloke (Irish-speak) constantly ribbing me over my housekeeper and my “work.” Basically, he’s my long lost brother I’ve never met or never wanted.

Yeah, I’ve read the laborious essays he posts about trying to create a behbeh. But they’re all mixed in with sarcastic wordiness and nifty jokes about his sperm-in-a-bag. I know there’s feelings in there somewhere, but he buries them, understandibly, way down deep in the sarcasm.

But with tonight’s post about his mother’s death, I learned he has feelings.

Just when you think you know someone, they come around and show you they’re human.

Damn, you, Martin.