I am a horrible gift-giver.
Just as horrible as deez lipz. —->
We’ve already established how it’s hit-or-miss with Patrick‘s gift-giving abilities. (note: his most recent gift was a WIN of magical proportions, so he gets a pass for at least the next 6 months.)
So this time of year when Father’s Day comes around the same week as his birthday (thanks, Calendar Gods #not), I kind of scramble for what to get him. Seeing as I have maybe one of the worst memories ever on record, I have no clue what I did or did not give him for the last year or any years before.
I’m sure one year I gave him a car. Or a computer. Or an extra fancy watch. Or a life-size poster of Scarlett Johansson. Or a KITTEH! but we don’t have a cat, so it either died or the KITTEH was part of a dream in my lifelong dream sequence of all things horrible related to me being late to everything and then having to float-fly to where I need to be.
Whatever they were, the gifts were Awesome.
But probably not.
Like I probably gave him a Coupon Book O’ Love filled with crap I’ll never do. Sorry, dude. I’m never “submitting to your immediate leather/foot/food/dwarf/furrie/worm-crushing/stiletto/scat/horse/Donkey Show whim” without at least a day-and-a-half’s warning. Don’t even think of handing me a ticket for “oral pleasure without having to reciprocate or clean up after.” Those little paper slips I made were just for show and not for reals.
This year, he’s getting something that I want for him. It’s also something he can totally return or give back or send to someone else.
THAT is the sign of a good gift: one that is returnable and/or re-giftable.
Also, one that counts for multiple gift-required days.
Sir, you can blame your mother for getting herself knocked up back in September 1975 then to have her give birth 2 weeks early thus forever having your birthday fall during the week of your Father’s Day.
Either way, I win everything because my forever gift to you are these spawn:
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Nobody’s a “horrible gift-giver”. As they say, it’s always the thought that counts.
I’m a lousy gift-giver too. This year I’m giving the man a 6 pack and the option for a day completely to himself. Basically, I’m giving him what I wanted for mothers day which is his birthday. I got nothing that day.
I flash the giving birth card when he starts that “I love you more” crap. I win every time.
Hellz yeah! And you can say you made them yourself… sort of, like in an awesome Easy Bake Oven.
Life size of ScarJo? Hmmm….I wonder how tall she is.
Only a day and a half notice for any of those things huh? I may or may not be interested in any of them, but I am interested to see how you’d prepare for some of them.
An Awesome post on Hockeyman´s [type] ..On the Radio
gift giving sucks! at what point can we stop giving gifts? hubby has been asking for the same thing for his birthday for the past 15 years….and he’s gonna keep asking, because he’s still not getting it. this father’s day our kids are going on vacation alone, so, i guess that’s more of a gift to me….oh well
Sorry about the timing….his original due date was July 6!!!! I was hoping for July 4th in 76, he would have been a true bi-centennial baby……but I had to wait a full generation to have that baby to celebrate on July 4th…..
Happy Father’s Day Patrick. The one time I have seen you in person with your daughter I could tell you were an awesome dad.
I really went all out this year. I cooked breakfast- cheese-scrambled eggs and English muffins- as opposed to the usual cold cereal. On a typical day, I cook too much during the day to deal with breakfast.
An Awesome post on The Sweetest´s [type] ..I Got Nothin’
Happy Father’s Day, Patrick.
An Awesome post on lceel´s [type] ..Tomorrow, maybe
“without having to reciprocate or clean up after” – lol
An Awesome post on Lori´s [type] ..OIL SPILL: praying does seem wiser than hoping, at this point
Dude. That’s a hell of a gift. Especially since I WILL BE THERE TOO.
An Awesome post on Aunt Becky´s [type] ..Iron Man
{ 1 trackback }