I’ve kind of been out of sorts lately.
Where “kind of” means “have.”
And where “out of sorts” means “what the fuck does ‘out of sorts’ mean?”
*pause while I look up what “out of sorts” means*
out of sorts
not feeling well; grumpy and irritable. (*Typically: be ~; feel ~; get ~.)
I’ve been out of sorts for a day or two. I think I’m coming down with something. The baby is out of sorts. Maybe she’s getting a new tooth.
Yep. That seems about right.
My sorts are out of it.
I’m probably getting a new tooth; the internet’s dictionary says so.
Or, it could be all the nothing I’ve been doing lately. But as a developing agoraphobic, we get off on the doing nothing. We like being home for days on end without leaving the house. It’s kind of the definition.
*pause while I look up what “agoraphobia” means*
an abnormal fear of being in crowds, public places, or open areas, sometimes accompanied by anxiety attacks.
He suffered from agoraphobia and feared leaving his home.
Oh hey, check that out. I was right. I didn’t get that degree in internet searching for nothing, amirite?
Since I’m up to doing nothing, I might as well be doing something. And since my kids are at Camp Gramma for at least another week, I’ve got tons of time to get shit done.
Only, my sorts are out of it.
Which could only mean one thing: introspective bullshit brain dumps while everything else doesn’t get done.
You’re welcome, friends. I’ve dumped on you.
But at least I got something done. I’ve posted here for the first time in a month.
Now give me my congratulatory cookie. I heard on the internet that they’re good for helping that new tooth come into sorts.