I was born with a gene, passed down from my father, for sarcasm. It’s in my blood. It’s impossible for me to muffle my sarcastic nature.

But I’ve never thought of myself as a mean person. It’s the other gene I have, passed down from my mother, for non-confrontation. Like the sarcasm gene, it’s in my blood. It’s nearly impossible for me to be confrontational.

I’m not an instigator. I don’t seek out drama. I keep stressors at bay. It’s kind of a medical necessity these days.

Unfortunately, around the internets lately, I’ve been seeing a shite-ton of instigators.

The instigators to whom I am referring are the people who leave hurtful comments and send cruel messages, sometimes threatening, always negative.

I don’t understand these people.

It’s completely baffling to me how someone can create a Twitter account simply to harass someone very recently diagnosed with a serious medical condition. (NOTE: I was going to link to the person who is harrassing Erin @queenofspain, but he/she resorted to posting Erin’s phone number publicly on Twitter, so I’m not going to make things worse for her. You can check her Twitter stream for the asshole.)

It’s out of my realm of understanding for someone to tell me they are going to send their relatives to find me where I live because her $12 order has yet to arrive. I also can’t understand why she would create a Facebook account simply to harass me, curse at me, insult me, and threaten to call my local police station to file a report of theft. Why? Because her $12 order hadn’t arrived to her in a different country.

It’s mind blowing me to see one of my best friends insulted publicly about permanent artwork on her skin. I believe in the old adage, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” So what if you don’t like her tattoo or don’t understand it? It’s permanent. To say anything negative about it would definitely hurt her feelings, likely forever.

It’s incomprehensible for me to understand the person who leaves a hurtful comment on my friend’s blog where she bares her sensitive soul about her challenging son. It is HER choice to ask for help in the ways of community support by telling her story. It is NO ONE’S business to tell her what she can and cannot write about HER own family.

It’s astounding that someone would leave me a comment (in a previous post) telling me that I should go back to writing about my period instead of writing about receiving sponsored products and my opinion of our health care system. I don’t have to defend myself and what I write about. I don’t have to answer to someone else, someone whom I don’t know, someone who has only once or twice ever been to my blog. I invite those people to move on to someone who appreciates the vitriol they spew.

I just.
Don’t.
Get it.

I need a dose of double rainbows. And apparently, the rest of the world does, too.

I can’t say I have many accomplishments in my life other than the whole “raising well-adjusted kids and continuing in a successful marriage” thing. Yes, I have that Master’s degree on my wall (“wall” meaning “in a cabinet”), but it doesn’t take a Master’s degree in anything to sit at home and plot World Domination. So at this point in my life, it’s just that one thing I did back then that I can count as an accomplishment. And really, if I can do it, anyone can do it.

My currently-running accomplishment, other than earning that Master’s degree and the whole kid/marriage deal, is having not eaten a single bite of McDonald’s food* in over 6 years.

Not a french fry. Not a Big Mac. Not a very delicious little cheeseburger.

Nothing from McDonald’s.

I do eat fast food, but my consumption of Frankenfood has diminished over the last few years to about twice a month (not including Chick Fil A, cause that’s real food, dammit).

It’s more than just not eating McDonald’s. It’s a test of my will-power. Can I do this thing I set my mind to accomplishing? How long can I go without eating the most popular food in the world?

I’m also taking my girls on this journey of No McDonald’s, and so far, save for a bite of a chicken nugget or two that my friggin mother gave them (yes, I’m still peeved, 1 year later), they have never had a McDonald’s meal in their respective 6 and 4 years of life.

Seriously.

I don’t even think they know who Ronald McDonald is.

I KNOW.

They’re not deprived of Frankenfood. They enjoy Taco Bell cheese rollups, Burger King chicken crowns & apple fries, and they love Chick Fil A (again, not Frankenfood) chicken nuggets.

But this, my friends, I feel is my biggest non-education-related and/or familial-related accomplishment of my life to date.

How much longer can I last in my quest to not eating McDonald’s food? I’m down 6 years and counting.

We’ll see.

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*PS – Ice cream doesn’t count as “food.” Yes, I have eaten a McDonald’s sundae or two, and a McFlurry or two, in the last 6 years, but those don’t count. Hey, it’s my accomplishment; I get to make the rules as I go. Neener.

I know you’ve been sitting at your computer hitting “refresh” every 2 seconds for the last 24 hours waiting for an update on my way-too-unbelievable life of luxury. And I apologize for that.

So, what HAVE I been doing?

Well friends, I’ve got something new to tell you about.

And it’s Awesome.

It says so right in the name, so it must be true: We Know Awesome

It’s a collaboration of two internet powerhouses, myself and Aunt Becky.

OK, so her star may outshine mine in pretty much every way other than my ability to record and watch upwards of 10 TV shows a day. But she loves me, and I loves her, so we’re a match made in internet heaven.

Our first! ever! post! is an Eliza Parker Gift Certificate Giveaway Extravaganza! Or as much of an Extravaganza! as one blog post can be.

I told you all about the fabulosity of my Eliza Parker dress in my post here yesterday, and today is a happy gift certificate giveaway.

You’re welcome.

Now skidaddle over to the giveaway even if you don’t want a chance to win free monies. Go see how pretty it is. Cause it really is.