A Whole Lot of Nothing

Last Call: Pants Not Required For Your Viewing Pleasure

April 11, 2013 All About Me

I’m not really good at telling stories and out-loud talking. That said, I’ll be doing that live on the world wide internet tonight where you can see my actual face saying actual words talking to actual people. So please forgive me if I don’t make sense, because in my head, I will totally understand myself. [...]

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Oh Good. My Size Dress Comes In “Manatee Gray” From Target.

April 3, 2013 All About Me

This is absolutely for real—I checked it on Target.com myself. This Mossimo Womens Kimono Maxi Dress available online online at Target.com is available in the following arbitrary sizes and colors: Regular sizes (X-Small to XX Large) comes in Dark Heather Gray. Plus sizes (1 to 4) comes in Manatee Gray. All of the other colors [...]

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Get Checked #FuckCancer

April 2, 2013 Friends

I often make the comment that I’m so white, I’m translucent. I also say that I’m not tan, I’m healthy. My dad has had basal cell carcinoma, squamous cell carcinoma, and melanoma. He jokes that he’s been carved up so much, there won’t be anything left of him to bury. But don’t worry about him [...]

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Living In Her Light

March 26, 2013 All About Me

Remember that one time when I was interviewed by ABC’s World News Tonight about the downturn in the economy and struggling to make house payments? And then they ended up using 3 seconds of the 30 seconds I cried during the 10 minute interview, whining that LIFE IS HARD, and have subsequently used that 3-second [...]

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I Have A Thing. I’ve Never Had A Thing.

March 19, 2013 All About Me

The following is a reply to an email I received from a girl I knew in high school. Her email is after my reply. She actually doesn’t know that this is being published, so I took out her name. If she wants to out herself, she will, but that’s her decision. I didn’t decide to [...]