Peep Show

Am I lucky, or should I be grateful?

If I’m lucky, I can’t be grateful because luck is something that happens by chance, and therefore cannot be altered by fate or karma.

If I should be grateful, I must owe everything good in my life to karma and fate.

I vote for grateful.

*note: I really don’t want this to be a throw-up-in-your-mouth love fest, but rather a peep into my life. If you don’t want to peep into my life, visit a strip joint. Or if you really know me, do both. And take me with you.

I’m grateful from the tips of my newly pedicured toes to the top of my 2-day-unwashed frizzy head for my family. I read on the interwebs and talk to friends in real life about the trials and tribulations that they go through on a daily basis, and I can’t relate to most of them.

Yes, I have my issues, but I’m medicated. Thanks, Zoloft! You’re my true BFF.

But for the most part, except for mounting cavern (oxymoron anyone?) of debt, we are happy. Crazy happy. Dance around in the living room nekkid happy. Fear not – we don’t actually. I’d be the one throwing up in my mouth.

My husband is so incredible, he does the dishes and buys my hurting peepee medicine for me. He never yells at me or complains that he has to dig through a clean laundry pile daily for his panties. He brings me home the remainder of his chocolate milkshake, and dood, that’s better than a kiss.

My kids are good kids. 80-90% of the time. And they’re crazy-cute. Can’t ask for better.

GAH – I’m gonna make myself ill.

You can throw this back in my face when I find out Patrick’s left me for another woman or my kids needs to be sent to boot camp. Or, you can remind me that I weigh more than 50 pounds MORE than I did when I got married.

Let’s get some hookers!