Sodas are oh so yummy bad.
No duh.
Now is when I hurl my fat ass up onto my high horse and beg our legislators to tax one of my favorite things to imbibe.
SODAS
Yes, please tax my sodas. While you’re at it, please tax cigarettes, tobacco, marijuana (make it legal!), and any food containing high-fructose corn syrup.
I’m asking you to take MORE money from me and everyone else for eating junk food. We deserve to put a few extra pennies into our future diabetes & heart attack fund. We deserve to pay additional cents for eating crap food.
TAX US FATTIES.
Why did I launch myself up onto this equine? Tonight while watching MSNBC and the great Rachel Maddow* (as all good liberals do), there was a commercial from Americans Against Food Taxes. In the commercial, a nice white suburban mom unloads her groceries from the trunk of her sedan and speaks to the viewer as a concerned citizen, scared that the evil government will take food out of the mouths of her babes for all those extra pennies she’ll have to pay for her “food” (*ahem* sodas).
Guess what, white lady. SODAS AREN’T FOOD. High-fructose corn syrup is not food. It’s a yummy concoction. Capri Suns are not food. They’re fake-sugary liquid candy (unless you get the 100% juice kind). Oreos are not food. They’re a delicious chemical compound.
I’m smart enough to know that I feed at the Trough of Crap. I know I’m addicted to sugar and HFCS. I’m also know better than to feed my kids high amounts of sugar and HFCS. They are severely limited on the number of sugary treats and do not drink soda. (They make up for my lack of parenting in the amount of TV they watch.)
I also know better than to believe that soda, sugar, and high-fructose corn syrup are foods and they are making us all fatter.
Like cigarettes and gas with extra “you’ll-die-someday-at-the-hands-of-evil-products” taxes, please dear government, please take a few extra pennies from my case of Mountain Dew purchase to help educate the masses about diabetes and heart disease. I can guaran-damn-tee that junk food & soda sales will not go down. We fatties are already paying too much for our addiction. Those extra few cents won’t kill us. The crap-food will do that first.
I’d love to know who is funding the Americans Against Food Taxes considering their supporters are corn growers, sugar growers, and republican legislators, and grocers. (Actually, I’m sure I already know who’s against the tax just by that last statement.)
So please, Mr. Obama and all you other lame-duck Democrats in Congress, tax my fat ass. I deserve it.
_________________________
*My girl-crush on Rachel Maddow has no bearing on this conversation other than the fact that I may or may not have been day-dreaming of her Awesomeness while waiting for her return during the commercial break.
{ 48 comments… read them below or add one }
ANGIE! Your ass is gorgeous, but that’s another comment.
I’m seriously super anal about what my kids eat and drink. They DO NOT get soda, juice (which they only get once a day, if they’re lucky) is always 100% juice with no added sugar and if/when they get sweets/candy I’m pretty strict about it. Except when they’re with their grandparents, and then it’s all about HFCS, fake juice and other crap. Fun times.
I don’t really know WHAT else could be done to jam it down people’s throats (no pun intended) that this crap is bad for them. Hitting people in the wallet is sometimes the best way to make a point.
.-= AMomTwoBoys´s last blog ..I Used To Do Some Pretty Cool Shit =-.
presactly.
Dood. In Canada, there isn’t a junk food tax, but rather tax on all food items except for those considered healthy and/or necessary. And no one even notices, it’s true. I think if people *did* notice, and like smokes and alcohol and gasoline, the price kept going up as the tax kept seeming to go up, then the outrage might affect a change in some people – out of spite. But hey, spite’s a cool catalyst, sometimes.
.-= Zoeyjane´s last blog ..On Rape, Roman and Ridiculousness =-.
spite is good and if it makes money, it really good.
I am a fat ass and fully agree with the tax. For one I don’t buy soda, cigs, or booze. Secondly I am so damn cheap, it might discourage my fat ass from buying that crap. I agree with you though people will NOT stop most people from buy the shit.
Last year they showed a special about the extremely poor, in west Virginia (I think), anyway they were talking about how the food stamps didn’t give them enough food for the month and the kids didn’t eat everyday, BUT they drank GALLONS of Mountain Dew a day, even put it in the babies bottle. People love their crap foods and are willing to sacrifice all to have them.
.-= Jenni/mom2nji´s last blog ..And the Party Continues =-.
i saw the same doc w/ Diane Sawyer. it was SHOCKING to see how much Mtn Dew they drink and what it’s doing to them.
remember that little girl? She said something like, ” we aint like regular people, we cants be eating everyday, we dont have the food”. I wanted to jump through the tv and beat the parents with a case of mountain dew.
.-= Jenni/mom2nji´s last blog ..And the Party Continues =-.
don’t forget the cartons of cigarettes
Sure, the extra cost would discourage some of us, but not most. We don’t just need extra tax on these things, but super tax, the sort where it makes it impossible for most to buy these things.
.-= Vic´s last blog ..Girl Talk Thursday: Scents =-.
SOOPER DOOPER tax.
i wish, too, but never happen.
Half of the crap America eats isn’t “food”. People pump themselves full of sugar, lard, chemicals and yet wonder why we’re a sick and fat-assed nation. I’m a total Democrat (don’t you be hatin’!) and I’d love to see a junk food tax. Of course then we’d have millions of dollars wasted on arguing what is and what isn’t junk food.
how could i ever be hatin’ on you being a democrat? i’m a donkey lover just like you.
true on the wasting money on the what is/isn’t junk food debate. frustrating.
So true! Maybe that would get people to get some self control.
I gave you an award over at my blog this morning, btw:
http://sincerelyjenni.blogspot.com/2009/10/id-like-to-thank-academy.html
Glad I found your site– love it!
.-= Sincerely Jenni´s last blog ..I’d Like to Thank the Academy.. =-.
i hope those extra pennies will give me self control, cause i lack a significant portion of that gene.
I couldn’t believe it the first time I saw that commercial. It reminded me of something that SNL would do — except this was trying to be serious. If we can tax cigarettes (which has helped some people stop smoking), I don’t see a problem with a tax on soda. Don’t get me started on the whole HFCS thing — that’s why I’ve also given up most jarred pasta sauces and various crackers — stuff you think should be OK, but it isn.t
.-= PunditMom/Joanne Bamberger´s last blog ..Why Did it Take Three Decades to Arrest Roman Polanski? =-.
you KNOW this ad just falls in line w/ the other crappola the other side puts out.
and for the HFCS – it’s SHOCKING how many items have it included. stuff you’d never suspect, like crackers.
I dunno if we should do this, I mean it’s just another way to take money from the poor and middle class. The rich don’t eat junk food because they can afford to buy and eat healthier. There aren’t too many ginormously fat super wealthy people are there?
I say you make HFCS illegal.
.-= Hockeyman´s last blog ..Local Music Spotlight =-.
you’re so confusing.
I share your love of Rachel M.
That lady in the “soda tax” commercial is seriously scary. The look in her eyes while she is talking made me think she was going to pull a handgun out of her purse and wave it at the camera.
.-= Little Miss Sunshine State´s last blog ..It Adds Up To 250! =-.
oh yeah. she’ll pop a cap in some hippie’s ass.
I’m mostly fine with this (HFCS is pure evil!), but when I first heard about this proposal, one of the things that bothered me was that diet soda was included. Now, I understand that many people have concerns about the effects of artificial sweeteners, but I’d argue that while water is by far the better choice, many people aren’t going to make that choice. And between HFCS-laden soda and diet soda, I think the latter is a far superior choice.
And yes, I am aware of the studies that show that people who drink diet soda just end up getting the same amount of sugar/calories elsewhere, but I know from personal experience that that isn’t true for everyone. And with this plan, presumably those other sources of sugar would be taxed.
.-= Ren´s last blog ..Invaded! Invaded! Invaded! Invaded! =-.
HFCS are at least not proven to cause cancer whereas aspartame has (in huge dosages). kind of like 6 of one, 1/2 dozen of another. they’re both bad for you, so i think both should be taxed.
as a regular soda drinker and diet soda hater, if i HAD TO (which i should), i wouldn’t drink diet. the taste makes me choke.
Well, it’s my understanding that the size of the dosages makes that issue immaterial.
I used to hate diet soda as well, but when I decided to get serious about losing weight, we had free sodas at work. I decided to avoid snaking by drinking a diet soda whenever I was tempted to snack. After about a week, I was no longer bothered by the taste. At this point, something like five years later, I have trouble even being sure that my drink is diet (fountain drinks at restaurants).
I did switch to water for a while, but I just didn’t find it to help curb my cravings for snacks at all. That’s when I decided to force myself to drink diet soda. That made it much easier to stick to my daily calorie goals and meet my weight loss goal. I also credit it with helping me keep the weight off in the following years.
Of course, there are lots of think I can’t stand and would probably not consider trying (coffee, for instance), so I can certainly understand that others may have a more significant aversion to the taste of diet soda than I did.
By the way, here in Texas there is sales tax on some food items, like soda and candy (I think). But there’s plenty of junk food that is exempt from sales tax like the rest of the foods.
.-= Ren´s last blog ..Golf, anyone? =-.
I am totally opposed to this tax; come on, people don’t want the government invovled in health care reform but they want to tax junk food? Please.
.-= Kori´s last blog ..Friday Fragments =-.
i totally want the gov’t in my health care so I can go to the doc w/o having to pay $100.
a hundred? thats cheap!
.-= Jenni/mom2nji´s last blog ..And the Party Continues =-.
that’s AFTER my insurance.
I think a tax on this stuff in the States would be helpful… indeed, in Canada we have taxes on the non-essential stuff, and everyone buys the junk anyway. Yes, a healthful country is what you need… I think hitting people in the wallet might help change things a little, but people loves them some sugary fats, no matter how you slice it.
We don’t (usually) have soda in the house at all, so I drink it when I want some. My five-year-old has had a few sips of coke or gingerale in his life, and since our “Frito Lays” cupboard is extremely limited, I don’t take a lot of issue with what the kids eat and drink. they get plenty of the good stuff, so a little bit of crap never killed anyone, right? It’s a LOT of crap that is the problem. they don’t get it at home, that’s for sure.
And your sweet ass is fabulous, darling…
.-= grumblegirl´s last blog ..Mish-mash of Suck =-.
all pre-packaged or pre-made food is taxed, but they’re talking about an additional “bad for you” food tax. i’m all for it.
You’re freaking hilarious.
no, YOU are!
*blush*
oh yeah. and tell your friends.
Tax trailers too.
.-= Betty-Lou Brandine´s last blog ..Spread those legs, baby =-.
meh. i’m still not happy with you.
I’m sorry, but you’re CRACKING ME UP. I love you and I’m SO GLAD that I know you. That’s all.
.-= Aunt Becky´s last blog ..This Post Will Contain Words That Spell Check Hates =-.
i shit you not, i thought you left this comment for someone else and had to come make sure it was for me.
*swooooon*
Awesome. and word booty, baby! [which, BTW, your booty is quite nice.]
Yeah, tax away. I moved from sodas to club soda + non-HFCS juice awhile ago, in our house. (They’re mostly used as mixers for vodka. Heh.)
Maddow is teh hotness. ;p
Hmm. Maybe we *should* let corn be used for fuel, and get HFCS the heck out of our food!!! ;D
PS. See my link for some delicious, real-food, easy, high-fat yumminess! LOL.
.-= Al_Pal´s last blog ..My new creative outlet: Bread Puddings! =-.
soda. i wish i could quit ye.
Club soda + fruit juice really does = awesome mixers, btw. Great w vodka, rum, tequila…probably anything. ;D
.-= Al_Pal´s last blog ..My new creative outlet: Bread Puddings! =-.
I’m with ya. Tax it.
Fat kids like me will still eat cake.
.-= Jill´s last blog ..Why I hate October. =-.
ha! “fat kids like me”
i’m totally scrapping that.
Ok, I LOVE you. Why have I not been reading you all along? Thank you, thank you, thank you Type-A Mom Con for opening my eyes to awesome-ness. I’ve been missing out.
Seriously, though, my city (Durham NC) recently talked itself out of a prepared food tax of 1% saying that it would be too heavy a burden for low income families who rely on McD’s for quick meals. They were arguing about 5 cents on a Value Meal. The crazy thing is that the add’l tax dollars were supposed to be used to upgrade parks and recs in the most rundown neighborhoods.
-Abby
.-= @sweetbabboo´s last blog ..Political Blogging =-.
oh that’s just insulting. $.05 on McD’s? how about a $10 tax for how bad it is for people?
and yes, you should have been here long ago. i missed you.
Not taxing Mickey D’s no-nutritional-value menu means that they can keep the low income folks right where they want ‘em: fat, dumb, and if not happy, at least quiet…
.-= Mighty Casey´s last blog ..Looking for the Union Label in the 21st Century =-.
A) Hilarious post.
B) Yes, it’s true. They should tax us fatties.
C) My parents and other oldies STILL don’t understand why my hubby and I don’t give our 9 month old juice. Seriously — if you ever see a pic of his legs, you’ll know he’s not lacking in calories. Sugar doesn’t need to be added to that!
.-= Adriane´s last blog ..Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal – ECK! =-.
Fat tax is a great we should have stupid tax too for those people who think soda is FOOD.
.-= habanerogal´s last blog ..My TV husband this year will be… =-.
LOVE this – and BTW, has no one heard of water? As in drinking same? WTF is up with our candy-assed kiddie palates? I say drink water. And, after sunset, vodka. I’m all about the clear liquids…
.-= Mighty Casey´s last blog ..Looking for the Union Label in the 21st Century =-.
You’ll love this post on Pointless Planet:
http://www.pointlessplanet.com/2009/11/aaft-camping.html