Rick Santorum: Blue Balls > Pink Balls

by Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] on March 29, 2012

in Observations,Politics

Santorum Guides Boy Against Using Pink Bowling Ball, Encourages Blue Balls


Rick Santorum: Blue Balls > Pink Balls

Santorum Guides Boy Against Using Pink Bowling Ball, Encourages Blue Balls

Storified by Angie · Thu, Mar 29 2012 23:00:37

Gawkerassets
Because only sissy boys use pink bowling balls, never-to-be-President, Rick Santorum encouraged a young boy to move away from the girlie pink balls, laden with cooties. Seeing himself as the protector of all evil (see: lady parts), AP reporter, Sam Youngman, reported that Santorum told the boy, “We’re not gonna let you do that. Not on camera. Friends don’t let friends use pink balls.” 
"You’re not gonna use the pink ball. We’re not gonna let you do that. Not on camera." Santorum to a young fella bowling with himSam Youngman
Do what, Mr. Santorum? Show his manliness by launching a heavy pink ball down a greased-down alley toward a set of 10 pins awaiting eminent destruction. Because nothing says, “I’M NOT GAY” like the manly sport of bowling.
Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum on Wednesday told a young man not to use a pink ball at a bowling alley in Wisconsin.“You’re not gonna use the pink ball. We’re not gonna let you do that. Not on camera,” he said, according to Reuters reporter Sam Youngman.“Friends don’t let friends use pink balls,” he added.
That boy doesn’t need your help in protecting his image as a virile breeder. If anything, your presence in his life has now made him a target against most future lady dates with your Just Say No To Birth Control stance.
Bowling with the pink ball, presumably, is an affront to Rick Santorum’s rigid sensibilities, a bending of holy rules that declare that men should always have blue balls.
Friends don’t let friends vote for Rick Santorum.

PeeEss: I’m trying out this fancy Storify deal to see how well it would work with this kind of commentary post. What do you think?

Is it stupid?
Is it harder or easier to read?
Are you confused as all getout?
Do you love more more for using Storify on this post?
Am I pretty today?

 

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Cindy March 30, 2012 at 10:06 am

You look pretty today.
As for storify, it was a bit weird when I first looked at it, and I was confused, but I quickly figured out what was going on and it not only nicely sets off the quotes but it brings attention to your witty responses to them. I’d keep it around for commentary posts.

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2 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] March 30, 2012 at 4:07 pm

No YOU’RE pretty.

And thanks.
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3 Amanda March 30, 2012 at 10:09 am

I’m not sure what sortify is, but to answer your questions:

-It’s not stupid
-It’s easy to read
-I’m not confused in the least
-I love you either way
-You’re gorgeous today.

Also, Rick Santorum is an asshat.
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4 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] March 30, 2012 at 11:57 am

I enjoy your bullet points. And yes, Rick Santorum is a Grade A asshat.
An Awesome post on Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s blog … Rick Santorum: Blue Balls > Pink Balls

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