Wherever I go, no matter the place, preparation, or length of visit, I always forget something. Sometimes my phone, sometimes my camera, many times my hairdryer on vacations, putting on deodorant (I have back up in my car b/c I forget so often), rarely my kids, but always something.
This morning I decided to go wait for an hour or so for a new iPhone. Yeah, I know – dork. But it’s Sunday – GOD’S day – so I figured the lines would move hastely like the Bible says we should work, and I got there at 9:45am. Doors opened at 10, and I was about 50 people back. I’m figuring I’d be out of there by 12 – NO problem.
But this, my peeps, is not the focus of my story.
Standing in line at the start of my 2nd hour of official nerdness, I started running through my morning.
- Awoken by Anna at 7:30 – “I want food” “I wanna watch Moose & Zee” “Sit with me” “I wanna paint my pig” “blah blah blah”
- Coffee at 8
- Shower at 8:15
- Claire up at 8:30 - “I want food” “I wanna watch Moose & Zee” “Sit with me” “I want my paci” “blah blah blah”
- Check email 8:45
- Get dressed in my finest un-nerdwear 9:15
- Drive to fancy-ass mall and arrive at 9:45
Hmmm… I feel like I forgot something.
- Purse (check)
- Phone (check)
- Wallet (check)
- Clothes (check)
- Shoes match (check)
- Deodorant (che…. maybe not)
DAMN – I forgot my deodorant – AGAIN. No problem though, I have some in my car….. DAMN! I brought Patrick’s car! (Side note: he wins Husband of the Month.) I’m stuck for the next umpteen hours standing in line wondering if I stank.
But do I smell?
I spend the next – no joke – 3 hours checking to see if I stank. Oh, you know you’ve done it.
The sly scratch over your shoulder and *sniff* or the rub your cheek on your shoulder and *sniff*.
But as it turns out, I don’t stank. At least I didn’t smell myself. I am surrounded by a gaggle of geeks, and you know they all smell like the inside of a computer tower and their mom’s basement.
Maybe I’m like Matthew McConaughy and don’t need deodorant. I’ll just go around town with my own signature musk.
On the other hand, I’ll just get myself a few extra sticks to put in every car and every purse for backup.
FULL DISCLOSURE: I was inspired by my hooker, Mama Wise, for this forgetful post. Lord knows I don’t want to be accused of stealing.
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
Dude, stealing my stank! So smelly of you!
MamaWise’s last blog post..Gas pedal trumps vanity
I really do keep deodorant everywhere because I forget it and get paranoid about stinking. car, purse, all bathrooms, etc.
Shamelessly Sassy’s last blog post..How Did I Get Here?
I forget deodorant regularly … and sometimes I stink and sometimes I don’t. I can normally tell when I stank, though.
Sarah’s last blog post..Rock Lobster
yea. been there. done that. but i really did stink.
ohmommy’s last blog post..Their conspiracy to keep me from going to BlogHer…
Doesn’t the deodorant melt in the car???
I put deodorant on and sometimes it still doesn’t work!
Light’s last blog post..I am the Luckiest Girl Around!
You don’t stink. You know it. I gave you a compliment – gimmie an iPhone.
Maria’s last blog post..Dance, Dance [III]
You have an iPhone, and I don’t, so god knows why I am even deigning to comment here *snort*
Anyways, you probably didn’t stank just after two or three hours, cause that would make you totally lethal if you forgot deodorant for like a whole day.
Suze’s last blog post..Have A Nice Day, Asshat
I don’t wear deodorant. I AM McConaughy. Except more sleep deprived since that dude prolly has a nanny.
Zoeyjane’s last blog post..Where I Become THAT Single Parent
I am the same way!!! Constantly forgetting to put it on and always remebering at inopportune times (Middle of the zoo after being there for 3 hours!).
Glad that you don’t STANK!!!
Amy’s last blog post..Getting to know you….
I know of other women who forget that, too. I’ve never forgotten deodorant in my life and don’t understand it!
You got your iPhone, though, right? Clearly, by getting an iPhone after you saw mine a few months ago, you’re stealing from me. I’m gonna have to go all sweetney on your ass.
Avitable’s last blog post..Battered and bruised
ok, I do this all the time too! and usually I DO stink. blah.
designHER Momma’s last blog post..I wanna be made – carnie style
You *know* I have deodorant in my desk drawer at work!!!
Colleen’s last blog post..A visit to the Northwoods
Heh…lucky for me nothing is closer than 20 min a way and I own an SUV (so I stay home mostly unless Steven and I go out or it’s something that just CANT WAIT). But, now that I’ve started taking showers at night instead of mornings (thank you, L), I occasionally forget to put it on the next morning when I get up (I hate putting it on b4 bed).
I think you need a deodorant necklace or keychain! l ol
Ashley’s last blog post..In awe.
Yep. I forget deoderant ALL THE TIME. For me, stinkage is not the problem, stainage is. Nothing more romantic than looking at drenched pits!
manager mom’s last blog post..Suck On This, Dilbert
I am tell you ..we are soul mates.. I forget my deoderant all the time.. and I carry one in my car… and keep on in my office..
Kim’s last blog post..Weekly Winners July 7-13 2008
That was almost me today!!!
Miss’s last blog post..Things that need to be said
Lucky you didn’t try and crack a joke then…
Xbox4NappyRash’s last blog post..The best laid plans
Hiding deoderant in my climate can become a hazardous mess. Temperature control is critical. Glad to smell the sweet smell of sucess. You fared better than we did with the iphone. Ugh. More on that later in my blog.
Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas’s last blog post..Fears of a Four Year Old (Fantasy v. Reality)
I just stick my fingers in my pits and then, with a flourish, I put my fingers under my nose and inhale deeply.
Then, loudly, “ahhhhhhh.”
(I kind of stole that from Molly Shannon)
Sarcastic Mom’s last blog post..Do you like PRIZES?
@SarcasticMom…LMAO!!!
Been there and done that. No IPhone trip but deoderant and forgetting everything. I have to make a mental note of what I have to do, then I forget where I put it! heh!!!
justmylife’s last blog post..Random BS
I have to follow my morning routine EXACTLY or I forget everything. Including, but not limited to; taking my pills, applying deoderant, brushing my teeth. So just pray you’re never standing next to my unmedicated, unwashed and unstankified self someday.
K8spade’s last blog post..Dear Asshole Who Drives With the Gas and Brake Simultaneously,
been there, done that, did stink … ewwwww. Will have to remember to put deodorant in the car … just like chewing gum and breath mints for when I forget my teeth too … ewwwww.
Tonya’s last blog post..SESAME STREET HELPS MILITARY FAMILIES
although i doubt you stank a little trick i found was “sample size” DO, love them in my purse and glove box. i regularly fill out the “get your free samples” on walmart.com and i have quiet a collection of DO
you know those stinky boys in line stayed up all night on red bull to make sure they didnt over sleep and not get the first of 3 spots in line that they wanted!!
missygreenthumb’s last blog post..WFMW – SparkPeople