Do you know my last name?

I hope you don’t.

It’s not because I don’t like you, it’s because I like myself more. I like to keep a little mystery to my life.

I want you to ask, “Who’s That Girl?” (you’re totally singing Madonna right now, aren’t you? unless you’re jenbshaw and you’re too young to know who Madonna is or that song she sang.)

Anonymity in my outside life is nice and planned that way. I don’t want some troll to show up at my house demanding that I bring teh funneh to her life at my doorstep. Though, if that’s all she wanted, I guess I could flash her my boobs. That’s about the best I can do to make someone laugh on short notice. I don’t have any other skills to offer the troll at my door. So if you’re thinking about trolling me at my doorstep, think again. You’ll be bored and shocked at the mess inside. Not quite “Hoarders” shocked, but you know. Surprised at the clutter. natch

My point? I’m not one of those internetters who puts all of myself out there to the world for easy access to my personals. I don’t use my last name in anything online. I try to make myself a Man of Mystery little anonymous, but still me.

Life online is becoming more personal with the explosive growth of social media. If you wanted to, you could track my daily activities online. If you wanted to, you could find my last name. If you wanted to, you could find my address.

But I’m not going to make it super duper easy for you to find me.

My point?

I’m not going to use Foursquare. I don’t want you to find me at Taco Bell.

Today on Aiming Low NeW & ImPrOvEd!, I’m talking about my feelings about the new popular social media site. (Here’s where you click over and read that post, too, even if you know my last name or not.)

Are you scared of trolls showing up at your door to make you flash your (m)boobs?
Do you share your privates freely?
If I share my last name and address with you, will you send me chocolates and not make me flash my boobies at you for them?

Yesterday, I wrote a long-ass post (for me). But it was good. If you haven’t read it yet, you should be ashamed I DISOWN YOU read it now.

Then, go over to Aiming Low and see the masterpiece I threw together. Here’s a snippet to get your interest piqued:

“Part-time availability for woman or man to clean, maintain, organize, and cook for a household of four.

Must be available at a minimum of 20 hours per week.

Applicant must have an understanding of the expectations put upon him/her by the employer’s mother as the employer was raised in a neat, tidy, and well-organized household. Applicant must understand the self-afflicted pressure put upon the employer to live up to the standards of said mother.

Daily workload to include (but not limited to)” …continue reading…

Just like yesterday’s post, this post will be not be about blogging.
Except, if you read yesterday’s post, you’ll realize I am totally lying.

Don’t you hate it when people lie to you?
Me, too.

I also hate it when people talk to themselves.
Like now.
Except, I’m totally lying again. I love it when people talk to themselves. Gives me more of a reason to make fun of them. It’s a past-time.

Don’t you hate it when people make fun of the less fortunate?
Is the answer supposed to be, “Yes?”

Don’t you also hate it when bloggers put up a post that’s sole purpose is to send you to another blog?
Like now?

Now’s when you leave here to go read what I have up at Aiming Low today. It is pretty fecking awesome if you ask me.
Not that you asked me. Fucker.

You can make it up to me by leaving a comment here and on my Aiming Low post.
My self worth depends on it.