Yes, this is another BlogHer 09 recap. Move along if you don’t want to read another one. suckit

• A good bra is way better than a pocket or purse for carrying an iPhone. It also draws a lot of attention when you pull things out of your bra.
• Soft beds are meant for napping, not for all-night sleeping in a bed with someone you just met whom you try not to touch while the room is spinning.
• I like kissing my friends.

1. Kissin on Mr Lady, 2. Kissin on Terra, 3. Kissing on Sugerpants, 4. You can’t stop the blond curls from uniting, 5. Flinger Kisses Lotus – and Mishi?, 6. Kissin on Maria, 7. Sam loves my kisses, 8. Kissin on Anissa Mayhew

• My new BFF is Ree, The Pioneer Woman. For realsies. We cried together at the Community Keynote. (photo courtesy of The Pioneer Woman)

• I don’t like being alone.
• I like having a plan.
• Trying to get +/- 20 people together for a dinner is an impossibility and it will end you up at a place with very salty pasta and overpriced alcoholic drinks. Note: I didn’t actually pay for the 1/2 full drinks. I know how to snake a drink when someone leaves it sitting there.
• Babies and kids do not belong at bars or adult parties.
• I like free stuff and I’m not ashamed to say it, but I will NOT cut a bitch or elbow a baby to get it.
• Bossy still gives the best hugs. I’d like for all of you to try to be better next time, k?
• I don’t want to call out my new/old friends because I will inevitably forget someone whom I now love in real life.

ADDED: I see you people lurking. I know you’re here, now just comment, dammit. It’s how I measure my self-worth. And while you’re at it, add me to your feed reader and follow me on Twitter. Yes, I’m shameless, but that’s why you should love me.

I’ll be very honest – I’m a lucky girl.

VERY lucky.

Not only do I get to go to BlogHer 09 tomorrow (or today, or three months ago depending on when you read this), but a few very awesome companies have given me their products to show off.

Lane Bryant, or the lovely store for the ladies with the lovely lady lumps, offered $100 gift card along with an incredible $50 off coupon for me and a few other BlogHer attendees (thanks, Amy!) to shop for some outfits for the conference. I’ve been a fan of LB for a few years (since I became a fatty), so I was more than happy to show of their plus-size clothes. Why? One word: fit. More specifically, the Right Fit jeans fit my butt. That, my friends, if muy importante when it comes to jeans.

I HEART Sorrelli jewelry. Like, LOVE. If you want/like/enjoy/feed on attention, wear Sorrelli jewelry. No matter when I wear it (dinner, party, Target, etc.), I receive compliments. Seriously. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

It’s beautiful.

The semi-precious stones and Austrian crystals sparkle more than my eyes. That’s saying a lot considering my mama tells me all the time that my eyes sparkle. Right, Mama? Right?

I’ll be wearing Sorrelli every night of BlogHer, including the pieces below given to me by Sorrelli. GOR.GEOUS. Right now through Sunday, July 26, Sorrelli is offering an additional 5% off your order EVEN sale items, with coupon code BLOGHER5. Speaking of sale items, the Summer Sale at Sorrelli.com is going on through THIS FRIDAY ~ save 15% on orders of $100 or more. Combine the two for 20% off Sorrelli. HUGE. MASSIVE. GET YOU SOME!

FULL DISCLOSURE: I sell and have sold Sorrelli jewelry in my store, but this promotion has nothing to do with me selling Sorrelli or my connection with Sorrelli.

Here are a few of the items I’ll be showing off:

I’ll be honest, I have yet to wear the two pieces Yummie Tummie is giving me to lift my shirt to show off, but it’s waiting for me at the hotel. They’re giving me two of their tanks, one being the Boyfriend Tank below.

Yummie Tummie shapewear is made to make your middle tight, but it’s different than underwear because it’s meant to be worn on the outside or as a complement to your clothes. If it makes me look like this girl, I’m giving my 2nd born to Yummie Tummie. She’s a hard worker when motivated by candy.

If you’re not going to BlogHer, please turn around and walk away, cause until sometime in August, that’s all you’re gonna hear about here. suckit

I’m crazy-excited to go. Crazy nervous-poops excited. ALREADY.

2 weeks away!

I have all of my clothes purchased, and my Sorrelli jewelry is on its way.

I shall be the hotness.

I will NOT, however,

• *lose the extra 50 pounds I need to lose
• *have enough money for a new tattoo
• *be the cutest girl there (that’d be OHmommy w/ her hotass Louboutins)
• *have a most excellent bag/purse/satchel
• *miss out on tackling all of my imaginary friends