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© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 19 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: children, cinderella castle, Disney World, electrical light parade, magic kingdom, main street, photos, Wordless

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I’ve written ad nauseum about the challenges of my children sleeping in our marital bed. However far we’ve come with incentive charts and bribes and calm explanations and begging and pleading and flat-out yelling, the girls still come into our bed at some time during the early morning.

They’re supposed to wait until the sun comes up before they come into our bed. They’re supposed to bring their pillows with them when they come in.

No matter how much we threaten to take away every single toy and/or privilege and/or entertainment, this still happens:

Nearly-Actual Photograph, Taken This Morning

When I sleep, I turn black. Jealous?

Actual Photograph of Me & Claire, Taken This Morning

When I wake up hanging 1/2 off of my own bed, I turn back to pale white with lopsided eyeballs and grey face. Jealous?

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 32 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: bed, children, drawing, kids, marriage, sleeping

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Oh dear sweet, sweet Baby Jeebus and Oprah.

The Easter Dress Holiday is nearly upon us!

You may be confused as to why I’d be super over-the-moon esscited that it’s Easter Dress Holiday seeing as I’m not a Christian, PER SE. But because my extended family is all up in Jesus’ bidness and celebrates things that Jesus does like spreading the chocolatey cheer of plastic eggs, jelly beans and deviled eggs, I’m all for Easter.

Or rather, I’m all for Easter Dresses.

When the sweet, sweet Baby Jeebus and Oprah bestowed upon me 2 gorgeous little girls, it was like they were saying, “Pangie, I giveth to you these girls to dandify in the most beautiful of all frills and matchy-matchy dresses once a year in celebration of the Easter Bunny.”

And I sayeth unto thee, “Thank you, oh blessed ones, sweet, sweet Baby Jeebus and Oprah, you’re my only hope. I will do unto thee as thee would do unto me, and I will bedrape my beauteous girls in the most frilly and matchy-matchy of all dresses I can find under $15 at Target.”

But this year’s Easter Bunny celebration will be more EPIC than all other East Bunny celebrations combined.

I HAVE A NEW BABY GIRL.

More specifically, my sister will have a baby girl just in time for the Easter Dress Holiday.

And friends, if you’re keeping count, that gives me my two girls, my 2-year-old nephew and my BRAND SPANKING NEW BABY NIECE to dress for the Easter Bunny celebration.

I’m gonna have to take a nervous-poop break just to finish writing this post.

I am that esscited.

Because this weekend while walking through my Mecca of Affordable Children’s Clothing, I spotted The Dress.

THE dress that my brand new, will-be-5-1/2-week-old niece NEEDS to be wearing.

I. DIE.

Luckily for me and everyone who will ever see the multitude of photographs that will be taken on Easter Dress Holiday, there are also same-but-different dresses for my girls.

Now I need to convince my sister that my nephew needs a matching pink boy suit with penny loafers.

… and their grandmother’s credit card on which to purchase all of these clothes.

It’s what the sweet, sweet Baby Jeebus and Oprah would want.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 16 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: children, easter dresses

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Yesterday, I announced an epiphany: I come first.

The gist: my needs come before my kids’ needs.
No one’s happy if mama ain’t happy.
You’ll eat what I give you.
You’ll solve your own problems.
You’ll sleep in your own bed.

Until last night.

My epiphany lasted all of 12 hours.

Now? Mama is irritated. Mama is tired. Mama has a sore back.

My girls got out of bed no less than 6 times last night.

SIX TIMES, I heard, “I can’t sleep good.”

SIX TIMES, I had to tell them, “Go back to bed, or NO TV TOMORROW.”

SIX TIMES, I said, “YOU CANNOT SLEEP IN MY BED. GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM.”

Until I gave in at GOOD GOD I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TIME.

Claire came in, I left.

I slept in Claire’s hard-as-a-rock* kid bed. Thanks be to the sweet sweet Baby Jeebus & Oprah that it was at least a twin-size bed. And thanks be to the sweet sweet Baby Jeebus & Oprah that there were new clean sheets on the bed.

The 20 thread-count sheets don't smell like pee. Yet.

I was so tired that instead of taking my own glasses to put next to me for when I woke up this morning, I grabbed her sunglasses that were forsomereason on my night stand.

I’m tired. I’m cranky. My back hurts.

I’m going to either lock my bedroom door or find a harness Mommie Dearest-style to keep the kids in bed.

Plus, now I’m extra cranky that when the girls get home from school, they don’t have the TV to babysit them because it was MY BRILLIANT idea to take it away from them as a punishment for not staying in bed.

this  >>>  -_-  <<< is me

*Apparently, kid beds come in two sizes: toddler and twin. They both come in only one comfort level: HARD.

I don't care if they sleep on their floor; as long as they're not in my bed.

__________________________________________

PEE ESS: Disqus is being an asshole today, so you may not be able to comment. I’ll just blame them for the lack of comments left here and not my less-than-stellar writing ability.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 16 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: bed, children, parenting

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You step onto the airplane, get yourself situated with your iPad (me=jealous), stuff your carryon under the seat in front of you, and you await the obligatory “Exits are located >here< >here< and >here< … Don’t smoke your weed in the bathroom … In the case of a drop in cabin pressure, a mask will fall from above your head. Please place the mask over your mouth first, then help the people around you.”

The first thing I think is “BUT MY CHILD COMES FIRST! SHE NEEDS THE AIR MORE THAN I DO, YOU JACKWAGONS!”

Except, she doesn’t come first. I do.

Without me, she’s not here. She’s not ok. She’s motherless.

I come first.

Does this reach out into my regular life? Do I really come first in our day-to-day lives?

No. But I should.

While watching last night’s “The Middle,” Patrick and I thought there was a hidden camera in our house. The episode focused on how the parents came second to the children in the bedroom (kids coming into our bed in the middle of the night, making for a 1/2-sleep for us), the kids needing their own foods (we’ve done the 2-drive-thru dance, too), the weekends going from one kid-friendly activity to the next, the Nickelodeon takeover of my TV (even though they have their own 36 inch TV in the other room). Not only does the mess in the Heck house match ours, but the way the kids come first after the parents’ needs was spot on.

My girls come first, but it should be my own needs coming before theirs. Children with a mother and father who are not happy are not happy children.

My girls should see me taking care of my own needs first. They need to see that I see myself as being important. I should model myself as a woman who is dedicated to her own health and her own happiness. They should be aware that I take time away from them to be an adult: to go out without them to see my friends, to take one-on-one time with my husband. They should see me as an adult with adult needs.

My children should see my dedication to my work as I am here and present with them in our house. Every single day I have incredible guilt that I sit on my computer after they come home from school. But I’m not just “sitting on my computer.” I’m actually working. I’m carving a place in the working world for myself. I am doing my all to make money to help support my children. My girls should see that I am a working woman and I need that time to do my best at what I do. They should see a woman who is making her own way in the money-making world, even though she is doing it from home. Maybe they should see it even more that I’m doing it from home so they see there are options out there for them to work from home when they, too, have children.

They should know the tastes of food that is not frozen. With nearly every meal I cook (and no, it’s not enough fixed at home, but that’s a whole other story), I make something separate for my girls. From a sandwich to frozen corn dogs to buttered pasta, most of the meals include preparing something different and less healthy for them. I’ve sporadically said to my kids and to other people that we go by the “you eat what we give you or you dont’ eat” rule, but to be honest, more times than not, I give in and give them what they want.

Do I feel guilty? HELLS YES. But then I think back to 30 years ago when I was 4 years old. My mother didn’t spend her every minute playing games with me and my sister. She didn’t spend hours upon hours shuffling us from one activity to the next to keep us entertained. She didn’t make separate meals for us because she didn’t want to see us cry.

She kept the house clean. She folded laundry. She cooked good meals. THAT was her work. She knew what was best for her and for us. My sister and I had bigger imaginations because we were left to our own devices to make up our own play. She may not have done all of these things with a conscious mind that this is what she was doing. But we are better adults because she didn’t coddle us. There was no stigma put on mothers that “if you’re not spending 90% of your time dedicated to your children’s needs, you’re failing.”

It could be just me, but I feel like that stigma is on mothers today. But that stigma is not good for our children. It is not good for us as mothers and fathers.

From this day forward, we come first.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 41 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: children, creative children, parenting, raising smart children, responsibility, The Middle

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Don’t hate me because this is awesome.
Yes, this is a post where I hawk my wares. Get over it; it’s a short post.

Good for the Kids – Melissa and Doug Toys, Gifts for Kids, and Nuby Cups for Children

30% off PLUS free shipping on US-shipped orders of $75+

Use code holiday2009 for 30% off your orders placed through Monday, November 30th.

Awesome.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2009. | Permalink | No comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: black friday, children, cyber monday, free shipping, gifts, kids, presents, sale, toys

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We all know the standard reasons why people want to have children: undying love, smiles when you enter the room, looking at the world through their eyes. You know, the good stuff you expect.

I love it. I love my girls. I love everything my girls provide for me.

Once your have your kids, there are benefits you didn’t know you were going to reap when you produced the kidlets. Benefits that are primarily for your own comfort and enhance your life.

1) Fetching beers – Shortly after your kids start walking, you can start teaching them how to open and close the refrigerator. It’s important to teach the kids to CLOSE the door so you don’t have to get up off your arse to close it. That’s kind of the whole point of having the kids get the beer in the first place.

2) Scratching your back – This is a surprisingly tough one to teach because it requires focus. In the beginning, the kids only 1/2-ass scratch then stop after 2-3 seconds. Major tease. As they get a bit older, you can use motivators (ie. toys, candy, money) to encourage longer back scratching sessions.

3) Snacks in the house – It’s not like you don’t have snacks in the house before kids, but when you have kids, you don’t feel as guilty for having them. Snacks in the house for kids are important for preventing tantrums, bribery, and creating commercial memories (see: Oreo commercials).

4) Testing the macaroni & cheese at all restaurants – Before kids, you never ever order macaroni & cheese as a main dish. If it’s a specialty with gruyère or nutmeg, then of course it’s acceptable to order. However, ordering mac & cheese as your main dish at a restaurant is not the norm. When you have kids, you get to test all of the mac & cheeses at all kid-friendly restaurants. My favorite so far is California Pizza Kitchen.

5) Appreciation of a good nap – There is NO WAY IN THE FRIGGIN WORLD you can understand the importance of a good nap (yours and theirs) without having kids.

What are your unknown benefits to having kids?

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2009. | Permalink | 38 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: benefits, children, kids

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