How long can I go without washing my hair before I can consider myself still clean without bragging that I don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve washed my hair?

I’m thinking it has to do with when I start to constantly scratch my head while I think, “Damn, I really need to wash my hair.”

Sometimes that length of time is 2 days, sometimes it’s as long as 5 days. I think. I’m not good at keeping track of my shower schedule. Apparently.

I have long, flowing, naturally curly, naturally blond locks of hair with a touch of un-naturally pink highlights underneath the mane. It’s awesome hair. I’m not really bragging; it really is awesome. It’s the one thing I have to brag about aside from my webbed toes. The answer to your question is YES, I can swim faster because of my webbed toes. Probably faster than Michael Phelps. donotdestroymyolympicdreams

I do take showers regularly. Most days. Almost all of the days. On average.

I don’t always wash my hair. It weighs about 4.92 pounds, give-or-take, by itself so washing it every day would mean drying it every day. And that ain’t happening. Mold would start to grow up in there, and that would NOT be pretty unless you find moldy, stinky hair sexy, and if you do, please get some help.

My 2-3-day-old unwashed MOUSSED hair is more than awesome. I actually get compliments on it. Actual compliments. It’s kinda nice. It can take way too long (TEN WHOLE MINUTES) to fix my hair when it does get fixed, and that’s a lot of Twitter quality time with my kids.

When I do take the time to actually FIX the mane, I tend to keep it fixed for as long as I can, where “can” = “until I can smell it and/or I can’t scratch my scalp enough to take the itch away.”

Moral of this story: If you see me scratching my head, it’s hair-washing day so don’t stick your nose up in my coif. Lesson learned.