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Making adult decisions is stupid. Or is it the guilt from making adult decisions that’s the stupid part? Or maybe it’s the disappointment from the result of the adult decisions is stupid. Either way, making adult decisions is stupid. For the first time in 6 years, we won’t have Disney World park passes. cue the […]
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He’s pretty swell. And when I say “swell,” I mean he’s the best father our girls could ever have, for whom I could have never wished. I could have never imagined someone as amazing as him out of a barrel of crack whore monkey dreams. Sweet swaddled Baby Jeesus, I love this man. Lucky for […]
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I may be a Florida Native living in Orlando with annual passes to Disney World, but you won’t catch me willingly setting foot anywhere near those theme parks during the summer. Do you like the smell of a sweaty tourist on a corn dog and jumbo Coke bender? I sure as crap don’t. After tweeting […]
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The only reason to have kids is to create clone humans to take your place when you kick off. Any other reason to breed pales in comparison to nature’s need to reproduce your genes. Unconditional love, feelings of worthiness, premature ejaculation, and one-upping your sister all fall into a distant 2nd place for reasons to spawn. Patrick […]
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