The only reason to have kids is to create clone humans to take your place when you kick off. Any other reason to breed pales in comparison to nature’s need to reproduce your genes. Unconditional love, feelings of worthiness, premature ejaculation, and one-upping your sister all fall into a distant 2nd place for reasons to spawn. Patrick [...]
This llama is the most famous llama in all of the World of Llamas. He lives at the Affection Section of Rafiki’s Planet Watch at Disney World inside of Animal Kingdom. If you’re lucky, he’ll let you pet him. On the day we made friends, he had a little something caught in his teeth. It [...]
I have a friend. A very dear friend. Mandi has a wonky heart. No, I take that back. Her heart is bullshit. Her bullshit heart has put her through 5 open-heart surgeries which I hear are very serious, the last one leaving her in a 3-week-long coma, a wheelchair, and intensive physical therapy. That was [...]
I’m super duper mega sugar-coated chocolate-dipped ooey gooey jittery EXCITED to announce MouseGenius.com to you! Last week, I teased you and now I’m pleasing you. Mouse Genius is a site with smart insider tips and information for a visit to Walt Disney World. Whether you’re a seasoned Disney guest or a brand newbie to Disney [...]