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It’s a good thing my grandparents were prolific breeders. One of my mom’s 3 younger sisters and 2 of my cousins are regular readers here, and without their views, I feel like my pretend-famous blog would shrivel up to dust. This weekend, they told me I’m not posting enough. Apparently, they don’t know how a [...]
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I kind of have the perfect family. We are a family that pretends to push grandmothers off of docks into lakes. Every Thanksgiving, my mom’s massive family gathers deep in the forest of Florida to hoot n’ holler & jump on trampolines & take walks in the woods collecting chiggers & catch chickens & throw [...]
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I have a friend who has never farted in front of her husband. Yes, she’s really a friend and it’s not really me saying it’s a friend. Yes, I have friends outside of the tubes of the internet. I think she may be lying. Farting in front of your spouse or partner or friend is [...]
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The guilt is probably worse that the physical pain. I’ve said a few times that I frucked up my knee trying to start the Couch to 5K running/walking program, and now I’ve found out I have to have an MRI done on it to see if I need surgery. Yeah. Exercise is stupid. And painful. [...]
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Remember Saddle Oxfords? I’ve been looking for a pair for myself for the last umpteen years, and at one time, Payless had them, but I was a poor college student and didn’t have the balls to wear them. So now, when I see Little Bill and his brother wearing them, I’m all jealous of them. [...]
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