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I kind of have the perfect family. We are a family that pretends to push grandmothers off of docks into lakes. Every Thanksgiving, my mom’s massive family gathers deep in the forest of Florida to hoot n’ holler & jump on trampolines & take walks in the woods collecting chiggers & catch chickens & throw [...]
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I have a friend who has never farted in front of her husband. Yes, she’s really a friend and it’s not really me saying it’s a friend. Yes, I have friends outside of the tubes of the internet. I think she may be lying. Farting in front of your spouse or partner or friend is [...]
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The guilt is probably worse that the physical pain. I’ve said a few times that I frucked up my knee trying to start the Couch to 5K running/walking program, and now I’ve found out I have to have an MRI done on it to see if I need surgery. Yeah. Exercise is stupid. And painful. [...]
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Remember Saddle Oxfords? I’ve been looking for a pair for myself for the last umpteen years, and at one time, Payless had them, but I was a poor college student and didn’t have the balls to wear them. So now, when I see Little Bill and his brother wearing them, I’m all jealous of them. [...]
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The ‘rents are in town for the weekend.* I’m not going to give you a rundown of the weekend or they crying that commenced whilst (love that word) looking for clothes. Email if you wanna know more. I’m too much of weeny to post why it actually happened. To bide time, I suggested we take [...]
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