Being Inside > Being Outside

Claire agrees with her mama.

My idea of A Good Time usually doesn’t equate spending time outside. I may seem to enjoy the time and weather in the out of doors, but unless the temperature is a steady 60-72º, breezy, sunshiney, bug-free, under 40% humidity, and there’s a place for me to sit, I’d rather be inside.

Being inside means controlled temperature, regulated humidity, and readily available seating. How can that not be better than the out of doors?

Luckily for Florida nature, this weekend met all of my requirements for an outdoorsy adventure, and the Lynchipoos ventured out into the wilderness.

Wilderness = Well-Maintained State Parks

If the description of the destination includes “rustic” or “back-to-nature” or “living off the land,” you can count me out. The possibility of sand getting in my shoes better mean we’re at the beach, and I’m in flippy floppies.

My favorite place is the beach in Seaside, but that’s only during certain times of the year when I can sit at a bar with no stray sand stuck to my feet.

I have grand ideas of visiting the great outdoors of the Great State of Florida, but the reality is hardly the actuality of me doing that.

I’m a delicate flower with special temperature-regulated needs.

The Perfect Storm of Outdoorsiness

January weather in Florida is pretty much perfection. If you’re reading this from your snow bunker, sorry sucka. You can brag when it’s July, where here in Central Florida, it’s 99º in the shade, 99% humidity, and my armpits are permanently moist.

For now, I’m bragging.

I’m bragging about the jeans and short sleeve weather, the breezes, the clear blue sky, the no snow, the low humidity.

And please excuse me while I brag about the natural springs 60 minutes from my house where the manatees take refuge from the colder inlet waters of the Atlantic Ocean bays.

Mama manatee and her baby (and another baby?)

Manatees huddled across under the canopy. Can you see them?

Taking a breath. You can hear them when they breathe. It's kind of amazing.

Swimming surprisingly fast into the spring.

I think the manatees were flirting with me, trying to make me an outdoorsy girl.

They almost succeeded.

If you’re bored or if your name is Lerner, visit my Flickr set with all of the photos I took at Blue Springs State Park. They’re kind of Awesome.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2012. | Permalink | 8 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: blue springs state park, florida, manatees, photos

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I don’t often brag about living in Florida. Except I’m lying. Going to the beach in December is pretty effing Awesome.

Just be glad I didn’t take a picture of the margarita I drank while the sun set over the Gulf.

I’m slightly jealous of everyone else’s cooler weather. And I’m definitely jealous of everyone else’s summer weather. But days like today are when I feel it’s appropriate to flaunt my state.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 3 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: anna, beach, claire, florida, gulf of mexico, nolan, paige, photos, sunset, tampa

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It’s no wonder I turned out to be the Awesome person I am today.

According to Business Week Magazine, my hometown of Niceville, Florida, the little town on the bay where I was raised, is the best place to raise kids in Florida.

Best Place to Raise Kids in Florida: Niceville

Nearby city: Fort Walton Beach
Population: 11,874
Median family income: $71,888
Avg. school math score: 89.71 (State avg.: 68.43)
Avg. school reading score: 89.71 (State avg.: 65.91)

The town of Niceville, once known as “Boggy”, is in Florida’s panhandle along the shores of Choctawhatchee Bay. It has parks, a youth center, and sports fields and is home to the Boggy Bayou Mullet Festival (mullet the fish, not the hairstyle), which attracts thousands of attendees each year. ~Business Week

Home of the Mullet Festival! What better way to be presented to the business world than to promote the annual dirt-covered-feet, beer-guzzling, port-a-potty hovering, creepy-clown-show, fried-fish-baked-beans-and-grits eating, Billy Ray Cyrus-performing, windchime-selling, funnel cake-eating festival for a bottom-feeding fish.

And these folks:

This is MY town. I share it with ~12,000 other Nicevillians, most of whom are related or were transfered there by the military and stayed. Because according to my dad, “This is paradise.”

But I have to pick at the photo used in the Business Week article. That’s not Niceville. I hope it was taken in Destin, the beach town across the Bay, but there is no Gulf beach in Niceville.

Our “beach” on Choctawhatchee Bay looks more like this:

Heavenly.

Our dream is to move in with my parents back to Niceville, but until either my dad kicks off and leaves us his money or the tech job market grows, we’re here in Orlando, 7 hours away from the best place in Florida to raise kids.

I’m jealous of my friend Tara whom I found not because she lives in my town, but because she’s a blogger who happens to live in my hometown. I’m jealous of my high school friends who either “got stuck” or “got to go back,” depending on who you ask. I’m jealous of my parents who have lived and worked there since 1979.

And, yes, it is nice. Just don’t call it “Nashville.”

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 7 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: best places to raise kids, business week, florida, niceville

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I’m the greatest mom my girls have ever and will ever know.

I took my girls to LEGOLAND Florida yesterday. No, it’s not open yet and doesn’t open until October 15th. I’m a big deal. I get to go to things early. Or maybe it’s because this past weekend was Family Day at LEGOLAND and my sister is a big mucky muck there. We’re going again next Friday the 14th for Media Day. That’s me taking my girls to Florida’s newest theme park TWICE before it officially opens.

Yup. Best mother ever.

I’ve had tons of you people asking 1) what it’s like, 2) what to do, and 3) what ages are appropriate for the park?

1. It’s gorgeous. Flat out, drop dead beautiful. The LEGOLAND Florida attraction was designed around the Cypress Gardens park that was on the property for umpteen thousand years. The park designers left 680-ish original oaks around the park, building around their shade. For the 5 months of hellish heat we have here, you’ll appreciate the respite. Situated right on a massive ski lake, the name which I’m too lazy to research, the park designers were genius to place the diorama LEGO cities in a wide open space overlooking the lake. It makes for crazy-good pictures.
2. Everything, especially the Ford Driving School. The park is open most weeks Thursday through Monday from 10am-5pm, but check the calendar for more accurate times when you’re visiting. You will want to be there at 10am, and you’ll stay the whole day. There is really that much to do for all kids.
3. My girls are 7 and 5 and my nephew turns 3 this week. There was nearly nothing my 5-year-old couldn’t do, but she’s extra wee-sized, so nearly every other 5-year-old could probably ride everything. My personal suggestion is that any kid 12 and under would have a whole day’s worth of entertainment to exhaust themselves.

I wish I could say I was paid for this post, but I wasn’t. Unless you count the last 33-1/2 years of having to deal with my sister in exchange for entry into LEGOLAND Florida, this post was not compensated.

Do you have other questions about visiting the park? I’ll make Jackie answer your questions here. If I have the answer (or pretend I do), I’ll answer them here, too. Or, if you just want to compliment us on the cuteness of our kids, we’ll take those comments, too.

Paige likes hearing how cute she is.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 3 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: cypress gardens, florida, legoland florida, photos

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Nearly every year for the last as far as I can remember, the state of Florida has offered sales tax-free shopping, or Sales Tax Holiday, weekends with the intention that parents of kids going back to school need a break on the cost of all the supplies and clothes needed. Florida sales tax varies from 6-7.5% depending on the county in which you live, so saving those pennies and dollars on your back-to-school purchases can add up if you’re buying a lot for your brood of darlings.

With the Sales Tax Holiday comes a government-issued list of approved taxable and tax-exempt items you may or may not need for little Johnny and Princess Suzy to use for school. Quoting from the state-issued list, “a list of clothing and accessory items and their taxable ( T) or exempt (E) status during the tax-free period if they are sold for $75 or less. (This list is not all inclusive.)” It’s pretty much anything you’d need for your crotch rockets to attend school and succeed is on the “tax exempt” list, but there are some items I have to call into question.

And for my favorite:

When I was pointing all of these out to Patrick yesterday, he took issue with me taking issue with these seemingly randomly-selected exempt items. He asked what solution I had for this random assortment of state-selected tax-free items.

My solution? Next year, the state of Florida need to consult with me on what should and should not be included in the Sales Tax Holiday item list. Look for the 2012 list to include beer, diamonds, margaritas, and televisions. If fanny packs and $75 tuxedos can be tax-exempt, why can’t the matching beer cans and big-screen TVs?

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 5 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: florida, floridiot, sales tax free dates, sales tax holiday, tax free

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The beach, it calls my name. I grew up 5 miles away the way the mythical crow flies from the best beach in the US, yet as a teen I was too self-conscious about my body to go to the beach. Plus, my mom was always, “You’ll get sand in your crack!” and “You don’t want to go ALL THE WAY DOWN THERE, do you?” I’m still not sure if she was referring to my crack or the beach.

So what if it was a 30-minute drive around and through traffic lights to get to the beach before the bridge opened during my 11th grade year? Add in the fact that I was super lazy even way back in my rearing years to pack up myself and stuff and lay out in the stupid heat just to get a sand in my crack, I didn’t go to the beach very often when it was out my figurative back door.

Living in Orlando affords us options when it comes to visiting the beaches. We have Cocoa Beach 25 minutes to our east and Tampa Bay/St Pete Beach 2 hours to our west-ish. We went to Cocoa Beach last summer with the girls, and we vowed we would never go there again. Rather than finding sugar-white sand in our cracks, we had to dig out black sand. Black sand and cracks don’t mix. We’re admitted beach snobs with our affinity for white sandy beaches and turquoise water with actual waves as we look down on the dark sand and murky water and 100s of Euromen banana hammocks.

Since having the children reach the age of consenting to what we mold their minds into thinking, I plan to spend several days of our summer vacation on the beach with my girls. It’s my plan to tweak their wee brains into Beach Bunnies who will want to go to the beach with me, but only to beaches that meet our high expectations.

It won’t be hard brainwashing them to think that this is the best way to beach.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 7 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: beach, destin, florida, kids, Vacation, white sand

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I’ve decided to reverse my stance on being Judgy McJudgypants about people and kids who have sunburns. Living in Florida for my whole life, we see our share of Lobster People. Lobster People are those Northern/Midwestern/British folk who come to sunny Florida, think they can get away with no sunscreen for the first day to start their base tan, then end up babying their unevenly tan-lined, delicate fried skin for the remainder of their vacation.

We (or I if you’re a Floridian who doesn’t want to own up that you actually do this) secretly laugh at you and scoff at your decision to go without sunscreen. “YOU FOOL!” “You’re going to end up with skin cancer, you dolt!” “Good luck getting aloe vera gel back in Ohio, sucka!”

Today, I have a sunburn. It’s not a Def Con 10 Level Lobster Person sunburn, but I have a Def Con 6 Level burn that will result in my face shedding its burnt skin, likening me to a Leper in about 5 days.

I have delicate flower petal skin that’s not just white, it’s somewhere on the level of translucent. I fear the sun and its sunburning rays from May through September spending about $150 worth of sunscreen every summer. I don’t believe in “base tans” or in “laying out” or in “getting some sun.” I know sun is good for me in getting some Vitamin D, but I know I’ll get enough in my regular everyday life, and I don’t need to add additional sun rays to my skin.

My dad has carcinoma and melanoma, and I have bi-annual visits to my dermatologist where my freckly skin is checked and sliced of my *beauty* marks. My 1/2 Irish, all whitey girls are the same way. One of my girls has already been to the dermatologist for a questionable mole, so keeping our skin healthy is a priority for me. Seeing a “healthy glow” on me and my girls makes me nervous. But, I also don’t want to keep my girls locked inside all summer for fear of the sun.

We spent ALL DAY at the pool on Sunday. From 11am to after 5pm yesterday, we swam and ate and played at the resort pool as guests of my sister. Having resort pools within a few minute’s drive is really one of the best things about living in Orlando. Suckit, Northerners!

I applied sunscreen to myself and the girls AT LEAST 3 times each for the 6 hours were were in and out of the pool. I spent about 2 of the 6 hours under the umbrella with my baby niece, aka THE CUTEST BABY IN THE WHOLE WORLD, Paige.

We (not Paige) still got sunburned.

I’m embarrassed and ashamed and my nose feels like it may fall off and I’ll end up looking like Michael Jackson except I refuse to wear sequined epaulettes to distract from my missing nose.

But at least now we all have base tans.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 12 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: base tan, florida, paige, photo, pool, resort, sunburn, suntan

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We have an Awesome job.

I love my job.

“What’s your job, Pangie?” you ask.

“I play on the internets!” is the easiest way to tell people what I do for my almost career.

“How do you make money playing on the internets?” you ask.

“I swim with dolphins.”

I consider it a HUMONGOUS perk of my job here on the ‘tubes, because that’s exactly what it is. I get to go to places like Discovery Cove here in Orlando, snorkel in a coral reef, relax in the lazy river, and take a ride on a famous dolphin.

HOW COOL IS THAT?

I’ll tell you: pretty friggin cool.

Along with my internet-famous friend Miss Britt, I was invited to spend a day at Discovery Cove last week hanging out in a super sexy wetsuit. Yes, it was November, and yes, we were in the water. And, no, we didn’t freeze our tuchus’ off. (Britt kind of whined her way into the cold salt water for the dolphin swim, but that’s another story.)

To be honest (and when am I not?), I was truly blown away at the level of service provided by the park staff. The ratio of guests to staff must rival that of a five-star hotel, because we were never more than 10 seconds from finding someone to answer our questions. The grounds were lush, but not overgrown, and extremely well maintained. I thought of it as “Florida Tropical” with a hint of gardener magic. Included with the price of admission are nearly all amenities: parking, masks (even prescription masks for us blind-as-a-bat guests), snorkels (which you can keep!), lockers, wetsuits, FOOD, and BEER! Yes, my friends, Budweiser products are f.r.e.e. during your visit to Discovery Cove.

We arrived early in the morning and took advantage of the included breakfast. Although they had some oatmeal, fruit, and breads from which to choose, I was surprised that they didn’t have any protein-rich food available for breakfast. However, they more than made up for the lack of protein at lunch. There were about 8 different meals on the line to choose from in addition to the BEER.

After breakfast, we decided (from the over-zealous suggestion of an employee) to snorkel in the tropical fish reef. I can’t tell you how happy I was to have the prescription goggles in order to see the brightly colored fish and the STINGRAY SWIMMING RIGHT FOR OUR FACES. Once we got over the initial shock of the STINGRAY SWIMMING RIGHT FOR OUR FACES, we took our time swimming amongst the fish in the cove. Sadly, none of them nibbled at my toes or fingers, but I’m pretty sure these fish are used to annoying tourists (see: me) dangling our fingers in their faces, so they know the exact distance from which to stay away. Fish are smarter than humans; I’m convinced.

To give ourselves a break from our exhausting swim with the fish, we stepped into the waaarrrmmm waters of the lazy river. The river runs right through the aviary, and to get into the aviary, we had to swim through entrance and exit waterfalls. (Side note: Watching Miss Britt try her very petite best to get her very petite body through a deluge of water when the current is pushing her in the opposite direction she wants to go, is a must-see in life.) On our three total trips along the lazy river, we spotted and chatted up a few nice looking lifeguards while we talked to each other about everything from money to travel to how lucky we were to get this opportunity. We also visited the aviary where hundreds of birds refused my offerings of fruit, nuts, and meal worms. That is the day I learned that I am not attractive to birds, but again, that’s a story for another day.

GO, Cindy, GO!

The highlight of our day was the Dolphin Encounter. It is truly a life experience. We were lucky enough to be grouped with 2 British families and one kind-of famous dolphin, Cindy. (If you’ve seen Rocky III, you know Cindy. She’s a STAR!) Standing in the pool, we were invited to pet Cindy as she swam in front of us and watch as she performed tricks so we could better learn about her and her species.

The true feature of the interaction and of our day was “swimming” with Cindy. We swam out to the middle of the pool, and that’s where I was told to put my right hand on the front of her fin, my left hand on the side of her head, and hang on. The several seconds it takes for Cindy to “swim” me back to the shallow end was exhilarating, she was powerful, and I’ll never forget the moment Cindy and I shared.

She liked it so much, she gave me a fishy kiss on the lips.

Tru luv BFF 4Eva!

Disclosure: I was provided entry into Discovery Cove and the Dolphin Encounter in exchange for writing this opinion article about my experience.

Photos courtesy: Discovery Cove Public Relations

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2010. | Permalink | 16 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Discovery Cove, Dolphin swim, florida, orlando, theme park

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This past weekend, the fabulous, sexy, hot mama, super dooper awesome Shauna Glenn let me and my family stay at her beach house.

Her. Vacation. Beach. House.

damn. i know.

It’s flat out awesome.

I’m buying a TV for the living room (the ONLY thing missing) & I’m moving in. I mean, c’mon. It totally matches my blog design colors. It’s fate.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2009. | Permalink | 34 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: beach, florida, house, shauna glenn

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Yup. I’m a show off.

You would be, too, if you had these girls on this beach at this time.

Breath-taking.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2009. | Permalink | 7 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: beach, florida, ft walton beach, girls, photograph, sunset

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