Warning*

The older and wiser I get, the lower my inhibitions become. Or maybe that’s the vodka. Whatever the case, I’m pretty much willing to do a lot of stuff without being embarrassed as long as I get paid.

Except…

Wear a bikini.

Ever.

Even if/when/in my dreams when I’m skinny, I will never, ever wear a bikini.

Even if I was paid by Jenny Craig to go on the Oprah show and got to wear some weird binding pantyhose deal that put an bizarre line down the middle of my belly (I’m looking at you, Kirstie Alley).

Oh, Kirstie. The crazy looked good on you then.

Even if I was skinny in the real world, but in Hollywoodland I was considered fat.

Oh, Love. You're beautiful in my book, even if my sister finds you extra annoying.

Even if you just take a picture from behind.

Oh, sweetheart. No. Just, no.

Even if I weighed 76 pounds.

If you add 140 pounds, this me.

Even if it were for a joke at my expense.

That's pretty much me, just without the dark hair & belly scar

I am definitely too chicken shit to put on a bikini.

*Warning: This post contains photographs that may or may not make your eyes bleed, your stomach turn, and/or make you put down that donut.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2010. | Permalink | 23 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: bikini, fat, girl talk thursday, skinny

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I’m supposed to have only 5, but I have 6. suckit.

I know I will.

EDITED: I had to go back and add a 7th thanks to @tjbarber.

Edward Cullen

Twilight: I will fucking CUT YOU if you come here and make any derogatory remarks about My Edward. That’s a no-tolerance, quick way to get yourself banned from here. If you don’t like Twilight, keep it to yourself. That way, I’ll never judge you for being a lesser person.

Brian Kinney

Queer as Folk: Makes me want to be a gay man.

Shane McCutcheon

The L Word: Makes me want to be a practicing gay woman.

Lloyd Dobler

Say Anything: Say swoon. You know why.

Ferris Bueller

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off: The first man I saw in the shower.

Jack Dawson

Titanic: You have no soul if you don’t find this hot.

Jax Teller

Sons of Anarchy: Dirty motorcycle rider. Uh, duh. Plus, Charlie Hunnam was in the UK version of Queer as Folk. Double duh.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2009. | Permalink | 25 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: actors, actress, character, girl talk thursday

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