So this is what happens when I leave town for a week during the bestest holiday of the year:

I go without posting on any of the blogs on which I contribute for a whole (31-21) + 2 days. I think that’s 12.

TWELVE WHOLE DAYS the internet has gone without my sprinkling of awesome. You missed it, didn’t you?

Or were you too busy eating extra creamy buckeyes, extra sugary pecan pie, and extra salty mashed potatoes. Or maybe that was just me.

In the last (31-21) + 2 days I’ve been thinking about this post. This “Getting Back Into the Swing of Things” post. This monumental welcoming back to the written word. The post I’ve written in my head over and over and just KNEW I’d remember it because I interjected keywords and word association into the post in my head when I sat down to type.

Yet, I sit and write this awesome garbage.

You’re so welcome.

What nommy (that’s for the alimartell) foods have you added to your thigh cheese this holiday season?

I’m going to preface this by saying my sister and I can sometimes revert back to our 12-year-old selves when we get around our mother. It doesn’t happen when we’re together without her, but add our mom into the familial equation, then you’ve got a clusterfuck of teenage hormones.

A few Christmases ago, I was 3 months pregnant with my oldest daughter. I felt enormous. Little did I know, I’d double in size and stay that way for the next five and a half years. I felt like I needed at least a queen-size bed to share with my baby daddy. Anything smaller would kill the baby, obviously.

My sister and I along w/ my baby daddy were coming home to my parent’s for Christmas, and since we got there first, I claimed the room with the queen-size bed. You know. For the baby’s life. FOR THE SAKE OF THE BABY.

Can you guess what happened next?

My sister came into my parent’s house, marched into the room with the big bed, AND ROLLED OUR LUGGAGE TO THE SPARE BEDROOM WITH THE FULL-SIZE BED.

oh yes she did

And oh yes, I moved them back.

AND OH YES SHE MOVED THEM BACK BACK.

There was a cacophony of tears, yelling, insults. My dad was stuck in the middle. Don’t you dare feel sorry for him. He lives in his own little version of paradise. He felt the need to appease both his daughters. To make it even. Make it fair. What all fathers do for their fighting daughters.

He sided with his youngest daughter.

My sister won the battle. She got the big bed.

that bitch

But this is what I remember. This is how we make our memories. By insult-throwing, luggage moving, teenage-style tantrums.

Happy Merry Everything

Do you still fight with your siblings? Or are we the only ones who see the world through our 12-year-old Coke-bottle-sized lenses?

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I’m live and in colorish over at Aiming Low today (well, December 15th)! Show me some loves, won’t you? Won’t you?

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My homegirl, Meghan, is hosting the Second Annual Great Bloggy Holiday Card Exchange. I posted the card back in November, but because I listen to Meghan cause that girl can cut a bitch, here’s the card again.

My girls are WAY too cute.

I’m teaching them to cut a bitch like Aunty Meghan.

You can’t run.

You can’t hide.

It’s coming no matter what you think you can do with your Jedi Mind Tricks.

HOLIDAY SHOPPING SEASON
IS
HERE

My store, Good for the Kids, is here to help. You’re welcome.

I’ve put together a quick & easy Holiday Shopping Guide to make it super duper simple to find the best toys and gifts for your kids and the kids in your life. Again, you’re welcome.

For kids from newborns to toddlers to preschoolers to young elementary kids, I have the perfect presents ready to ship for free. Yup. Free Shipping for the holidays. You’re totally welcome. And awesome. You’re completely awesome. And that shirt is super cute on you!

Newborn-1 Year Brand New Baby	1-2 Year Olds Toddlers	3-4 Year Olds Preschoolers	4-8 Year Olds Young Elementary

Now for the super-cool stuff.

GIVEAWAY!

I’m giving away a $50 gift certificate to Good for the Kids. Use it however you wish.

Bonus: Free Shipping. That means you can buy more.
Double Bonus: Use a coupon like this one for 20% off through Nov 16th: nov4blog. (Anyone can use it. Even you.) That means you can buy even MORE and buy NOW. If you buy now and you’re the big wiener winner, I’ll totally refund your payment. Triple. Bonus.

How to enter:

Leave a comment below with the name of your favorite item from Good for the Kids. Leave up to 3 comments per day for the duration of the giveaway using the methods below.

YOU MUST LEAVE THE LINK to your TWEET/BLOG POST/STUMBLE in the comments below. Use only one link per comment or you’ll be cast out as spam. No soup for you.

Increase your chances by

• •Twittering about the discount and/or giveaway from your own Twitter account.
• •Following @goodforthekids on Twitter.
• •Blogging about this discount and/or giveaway with a link back to here on your own blog.
• •Stumbling this post.
• •Sharing this giveaway using any of the social media icons at the bottom of the post (those down there).

The giveaway will be open through Tuesday, November 10th, at 11:59pm EST. The lucky duck winner will be notified via email, on this post, and on Prizey.net.

Good luck!

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Congratulations to Cindi for winning the $50 gift certificate! Check your email.