I do my best to not be sanctimonious. Sometimes it’s harder to do than it is to spell.

I’m lucky to have been raised in a home where my original parentage was intact, and they actually liked each other most of the time. They still do, even though I have to yell that them when they argue in front of me. I’m sensitive to mommy and daddy fighting, even if it’s about menial crap like if one of them told the other one about the plans for something. I mean, really, they’re old people. They’re crotchety. They get on each other’s nerves. I’d be nervy, too, if I’d spent the last 44 years with the same person.

My in-laws were married for nearly 30 years before my father-in-law passed away. The same marriage situation with them: nervy but still in love with each other.

I’ve been married to Patrick since 1998, so 77 long years in dog life. That’s a hell of a long time for people in their 30s.

We’re still in love.  We’re even in love with each other. Unless he dutch-ovens me, puts his wiener in another lady’s privates, or turns off my DirecTV, I’ll be in love with him until the day I die.

I’m pretty lucky to be in love with my husband and the father of my children. I’m even luckier to be loved by the man I love.

It’s not that common in these life and times, and that makes me sad. It makes me incredibly sad when I see friends and family ending marriages.

I KNOW some people can’t make it through troubled times. I KNOW some people go nuts and become different people over time. I KNOW things just don’t work out.

It doesn’t make it any easier to feel better about people not staying together.

We haven’t been without our problems, but we worked through it. I still get flashbacks back to that time when we had our issues, that time when we were literally hours away from splitting for good. I get those flashbacks especially when I hear of people splitting up or going through their own problems.

Those flashbacks are when I am most thankful to still have US. I love US. I love US together. I love US with our girls, with our dogs, with our messy house, with each other.

I love that we are still in love. I realize just how delicate our US is to our family.

I hope that’s not sanctimonious.

And, Patrick, this still holds true:

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 15 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: divorce, love, marriage

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I’m seeing a theme of a love/hate post every Friday.

____________________________________________________________________

seeing friends having fun at a conference via the twitter

missing having fun with my friends at a conference

getting hired for new jobs

not getting hired for new jobs

thinking I need a new business

thinking of a name for a new business

losing a few pounds

losing a few pounds because my tummy is upset

friends’ kids’ birthdays

friend having sad flashbacks to kids’ traumatic birth day

$10 off coupons

nothing to hate about that

a husband who agrees with your side

passive-aggressive guilt

new TV shows

re-runs

David Brent meeting Michael Scott

Michael Scott leaving Dunder Mifflin

cooking dinner at home

cleaning up dinner at home

clean clothes

washing & folding clothes

stuff

bills

Instagram

Instagram not on the lappytop

my blog’s Google pagerank is a 5! (nerd alert)

my blog loading slowly

YOUR TURN! What’s your love/hate this week?

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 3 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: friday, Friends, hate, list, love, TV

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I am a mother.

no shit, sherlock.

I love my girls to the moon and back and back out to the PLANET Pluto and back on a rocket mysterious flaming airliner over California.

As cute and adorable and loving and special as they are… HOT DAMN they can get on my nerves. Every last tickling nerve.

But they are alive.

They are with me.

They are healthy.

They are my everything.

When my limits are tested to the brink of “GET MAMA A MARGARITA AND A NAP,” I say a little thank you that they’re here.

When they whine for 2 hours before dinner because “I DON’T LIIIIIKE CHIIIICKEEEENNNNNNN….,” I’m thankful to hear their voices.

When they stand in front of me and beg and plead and throw themselves on the floor for “JUST ONE MORE LOLLIPOP!” I know I’m their Mama.

I am fortunate to have my babies here with me to hug and kiss and photograph and cuddle with and dress and feed and chauffeur and wipe a nose and play school and love.

My friend Heather does not have her Maddie.

Today is Maddie’s 3rd birthday.

I am appreciating my girls more today and every day because of Maddie and because of Heather.

For that, I say thank you for sharing Maddie with us.

I love you, Heather. Thank you for being in my life.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2010. | Permalink | 21 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: girls, hugs, love, maddie

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There has been many 1000 times (+/- a few) that I’ve mentioned how much I love the friends I’ve found on the internets.

The drama that lives in the little box is the same drama that lives in the houses in which they live.

same same

Something different, however, is the vast variety of people I’ve found here amongst the masses of lovelies. There really truly are bunches and loads of amazing people out in the world.

I know. I’ve met them.

I call them my friends.

I’m lucky enough to say this with so much conviction and honesty: Piper of Love is one of the dearest, most beautiful people I’ve ever met.

Truly.

She’s drop-dead gorgeous. She used to be a fatty like me, but she took control, lost weight, and is now (not that she wasn’t before) one of the great beauties of the world. I do not lie.

She has two beautiful boys from a rocky past relationship, and she’s been through hell finding the right job.

She’s dated a few mens, and if I weren’t married and if she was gay, I’d woo her to be my lady.

Several months ago (I think almost a year), she met an amazing man. He woo’d her. He made her laugh. He loved her boys.

He asked her to marry him.

Doves flew!
Bells rang!
Angels cried!

Truly, the internet collectively sighed in happiness for Piper.

The date: 10.10.10

Pretty AWESOME if you ask me.

Until last week.

He broke Piper’s heart.

He broke her boys’ hearts.

He broke my heart.

He broke her friend’s hearts.

He ended their fairytale romance with one phone call.

Since that day, her friends have rallied together to create a circle of love for Piper. We’ve emailed back and forth for days (though, I kind of think Piper would want to be included, but then, how could it be a surprise?) coming up with ways we could love on her from afar.

I think we’ve done a pretty damn good job of putting out our love and support energies to her. She’ll be receiving loves in her mailbox for weeks.

I hope she can feel it.

I hope she knows she is truly loved by me, by us.
With #2000MonkeyHumps we are Picking Up Piper #PuP.

Amy – Dooblevay
Diane – Momo Fali
Heather – Soft Skies
Jenny Grace – Miss Disgrace
Melisa – Suburban Scrawl
Melissa – Rock and Drool
Mishi – Secret Agent Mama
Miss – Just One Miss
Nic – Red Lotus Mama
Rachel – A Southern Fairytale
Sarah – Sarahndipitea
Tara – If Mom Says OK
Weaselmomma – World of Weasels

Photo courtesy: the fabulous Mishi
Video courtesy: the gorgeous Rachel & all of us

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2010. | Permalink | 24 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: broken hearts, love, photograph, piper

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Until recently, like an hour ago, I never realized how many bad dreams I have when I sleep as opposed to when I’m awake?.

Most of the dreams I remember leave me with a feeling of frustration, sadness, and the inability to get anywhere on time.

Which is monumental in my self-discovery as to why I have so much self-loathing in my brains.

OK, so yeah, I just posted the other day about The Secret and being all “be positive, y’all!” but really, there’s only so much happy happy joy joy I can put out in a day.

So when I see around the internets and in emails and in person and in my girls’ eyes, all the love that is thrust heheh… thrust at me, I know why I don’t believe it.

I pretty much am a horrible, no good, very bad person in my dreams.

Not at a killer or attack dog or Jennifer Love Hewitt or anything. Just a person who is not believed, doubted, fat ‘n ugly, left alone, late to the party, outcasked, unloved, ignored.

It’s a wonder I don’t try to off myself when I wake up every morning.

Oh, right. The high dosage of Zoloft. (Thanks, Pfizer!)

But recently, I’ve found the love the world and you people have for me. I’ve been open to accepting it and receiving it as genuine and not as a part of a pay-off my mom sent you to be my friend.

If it were to tell you I thought that more than twice in my life, would you send in the straight-jacket-wielding thugs?

I’m not looking for a love handout. I’m simply making myself realize that the love is genuine. The like is real.

As are you, I am Awesome.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2010. | Permalink | 30 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Friends, friendship, love

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I’ve been a little lackluster on the posting lately.
Don’t you hate it when people talk about not posting? I mean, just don’t post. No one really cares.

I like to only post when there’s something to post about.
Don’t you hate it when people give fake-ass excuses for not posting?

There’s no drama in my life to whine blog about.
The last time I talked about having no drama in my life, a shitstorm met me at the back door and stuck around for a year. This is me tempting that scabby diseased cheap whore, Fate.

Since it’s Wednesday, I’ll get away with posting a Wordless Wednesday.
Cause I’m lazy like that.

I found this on my car window one frosty morning last week.
Really, this is a re-creation of what I found because in my haste to get the bi-polar preschooler to school, I rubbed off the original. Still, the sentiment is what matters.

I know. Kind of makes me barf, too.
But in a good way.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2010. | Permalink | 9 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: car, i <3 you, i love you, ice, love, marriage, photograph

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My friend-heart broke again today. That part of my heart reserved for seeing people differently than what I portray them to be. The part of my heart that is the the same as mine and can therefore sympathize with their feelings. The part that I sometimes wish I didn’t have and instead had Dexter’s cold, black heart. The un-feeling kind.

But noooooo… I had to be granted with a heart that feels the pain of my friends. I blame Oprah for granting me the wish of feeling.

I learned today that an internet/for reals friend is divorcing. Another one. A couple I’ve spent time with in real life. A couple I actually thought was “it.” The couple that imagined in my tricky brain to do their own thing, then come home to each other, all the while knowing they were there for each other. The couple that understood each other so intently that they could live almost separate lives, yet still be IT for one another.

But I was wrong.  Their married life is ending. The fairytale marriage I created isn’t actually real. But that’s just the point. I created this fantasy marriage in my head of a happy couple who understood each other so intently that they could live their lives segregated: together but separate.

I’m horribly sad for my friend. I know the exact feelings they are experiencing. Unfortunately. Except I fought hard. Really fucking hard. I’m not eluding to the fact that my friend didn’t try hard, but there are different circumstances to our lives. I need to be married to my husband. My children’s father. The man I adore. The man I envision myself in 30 years sitting with on the mountainside front porch of our Finger Lakes retreat. The man I love more than I could ever love another. I fought fucking hard to keep our marriage intact the way it is today.

We are happy together. Every day isn’t perfect, but every day he makes me smile. Every day I am intensely grateful that he comes home to me and our girls. I thank him every day for deciding to stick it out and work on us.

I love that he loves me. Again.

When I hear of another marriage ending or having trouble, that pit in my stomach returns and reminds me of how much I love my husband and how hard I fought to keep him. It reminds me of how much I take him for granted and need to tell him I love him. It reminds me that the story I have of other people’s lives is just that. A story.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2010. | Permalink | 45 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: divorce, love, marriage

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Happy 33rd Birthday to a man who is many things.

A solitary man on a beach

A man who walks his fatherless sister down the aisle

A man with no shame

A man who loves his daughters dearly

A man with a great ass

A man whom I frustrate

A man who loves me

A man I love more

Now go wish @hockeymandad a happy happy.

And below, leave a comment telling me him how cute he is.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2009. | Permalink | 45 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: birthday, husband, love, photo, photographs

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