Everyone and their brother has a bucket “list of shit they want to do before they die” list. I’ve never made one, and I’m not starting one now. you’re welcome Why should I? It’s not like I’m ever going to accomplish all of the actions on the list, and if I don’t complete them all before I die, I’ll walk up to the pearly gates a failure. And from what I hear, God doesn’t like failures.

So really what I’ve done is kind of kept a running list in my head of stuff I want to have happen to me. You know, not really planned, just, if it happened, that’d be awesome.

In no particular order, and because I loves me a list, I present the first entry into the “It’d be awesome if this actually happened, but God doesn’t like failures, so I’m not going to make it a ‘must do’” Unlist:

Have Dwight Howard pick me up.

It could happen, you know, with us both living in Orlando and all.

I’m not a small girl. duh As a woman, I kind of want that feeling of being picked up off the ground. I have a small husband. He weighs less than I did 10 years ago. He’s short, but he’s taller than me. I’m not gonna get dirty here, but *ahem* this girl ain’t complainin that everything is small. *ahem*

Back to Dwight “DAAAAMN THOSE SHOULDERS” Howard. Look at this man. Look at those shoulders.

DAAAAMN. They were built for picking me up and, well, whatever he wanted hold me like a baby.

I think he would like that.

*hyperventilating*rocking*fetalposition*drooling*ohcrapmydadwillseethis*

I’m all sorts of awesome honored. For some reason unbeknownst to me, this blog is FEATURED on the front fahking page of the OrlandoSentinel.com.

What the frickin frack? Seriously.

Little do they know (or maybe they do) that this here blog is about a whole lot of nothing. Hopefully they caught that by the title and they believed it. Cause it’s 1001% true.

This blog is the Seinfeld of the Blog World: a blog about nothing.

I post pictures of my more-adorable-than-yours kids and some of my attempts at artsy fartsy photography.

I discuss the challenges of being a chubby girl with the acne-face of a 13-year-old boy.

I tease and love-on my husband and fellow blogger, Mr Sir, at HockeyMan Dad.

I sometimes point out the Floridiots somehow surviving around us here in the Sunshine State.

I try to make a few pennies by writing for pay. See: SeaWorld Dolphin Bubbles Video post

I regularly tease my blog friends who live up in freezing-cold north telling them about the awesometastic weather in Orlando. I get to tell them to suckit 6 months a year (Oct-Mar) while they get to tell me to suckit the other 6 months. I hate July & August in Orlando. It’s like living on the surface of the sun paved with asphalt.

I shamelessly self-promote my online store; the best entrepreneurs do that. Visit Good for the Kids now and enjoy 20% off using code orlandosentinel now through March 31st. You’re welcome.

Most of the time, I’m lazy and share pretty much nothing but farts and other stuff.

Comment below. Add me to your feed reader. Bookmark this as a favorite. Follow me on Twitter @alotofnothing. Tell your friends you’ve just found the bestest thing on the internets.

Make me feel good. Mama needs some interwebbery lovins.

Semi-Wordless
We’re incredibly lucky enough to be able to watch the shuttle and rocket launches from our front porch.

SUCKIT northerners