As much as I love my niece with all my heart, girlfriend is already taking after McKayla. Paige needs to learn how to appreciate all the cool things she’s seen: Obama’s inauguration? Paige is not impressed. Double rainbow? Paige is not impressed. Moon landing? Paige is not impressed.
I don’t often brag about living in Florida. Except I’m lying. Going to the beach in December is pretty effing Awesome. Just be glad I didn’t take a picture of the margarita I drank while the sun set over the Gulf. I’m slightly jealous of everyone else’s cooler weather. And I’m definitely jealous of everyone else’s summer [...]
I’ve decided to reverse my stance on being Judgy McJudgypants about people and kids who have sunburns. Living in Florida for my whole life, we see our share of Lobster People. Lobster People are those Northern/Midwestern/British folk who come to sunny Florida, think they can get away with no sunscreen for the first day to [...]
There’s very little things I’m grateful for more in my life than Patrick giving of his vas deferens to the great medical waste dump in the sky. (I’m not sure that’s the actual body part that was snipped at the in-and-out vasectomy appointment those 5+ years ago, but I don’t feel like looking at photos of nutsacks [...]
I, unlike my mother, don’t think my baby niece, Paige, looks anything like Gollum. OK, maybe in the skinny arms, long fingers, male-pattern baldness, blue almond-shaped eyes, and they have the same mouth. photo credit: New Line Cinema