UPDATE: An Eliza Parker Gift Certificate giveaway is live!

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I took my own advice before I knew it was my advice: I asked for something in return for something else.

This time, I asked for a clothing sponsorship for BlogHer ’10 from plus-size social occasion dress company, Eliza Parker, in exchange for my honest opinion on how I liked the dress.

If you’re new around here, (and really, if you are, where have you been? I’ve missed you!) you know that I’m honest to a fault. Almost to a tee. It’s pretty much a detriment to my social being, but whatevs. I’m honest, is my point.

To be honest (see: above), I was hoping, but not sure, I’d like the dress I had picked out with the help of one of the more-than-super-friendly associates over the phone. (Yes, an internet store who will help you over the phone. Like, help you style yourself and everything. It’s almost a lost art in this digital age, but I digress.)

When picking out a $189 dress, even if it’s given to you in exchange for your opinion, especially for someone like me with larger lady lumps, it’s nerve-wracking. There are SO many things to think about: belly chub, arm flaps, boob strapping, thunder thighs. And again, considering this was a $189 dress, I was hoping for the best.

Holy crap on a Baby Jeebus cracker.

I actually looked H.O.T. in my dress. No shit. For realsies. I’d even do me.

(Note: the photo used in this post to represent me in the Venice dress is clearly distorted and does not accurately portray the hotness I was protruding out of my every stretched pore. Just take me at my work. Again, see: above.)

This dress is so fancy, without being over-the-top (cause this mama don’t do over-the-top), it comes with a sash. This girl doesn’t do sashes. Until this dress. I put on that sash and sashayed my happy fine ass all around New York City with my snazzy sash.

This dress is so nice, I didn’t even wear Spanx, and I still felt unlumpy.

This dress is so nice, I could wear it to a funeral, then to a wedding, then to a funeral.

This dress is so nice, I ordered it in the size I think I am, and I could actually wear straight out of the box it came in.

This dress is so nice, I actually felt good about myself.

And that, my friends, is priceless.

(Actually, it costs about $189, and if you have the bone$ to spend on yourself, consider an Eliza Parker dress if you’re a size 10+. You can send me your thank you note after you get over your sexiness.)

Minor disclaimer:

I’m just going to come right out and say it: I love receiving “sponsored” products.

There’s rarely a person, online or off, who would say they don’t like getting things sent to them in return for writing about the products. It’s kind of one of the perks to being famous on the internet a moderately successful blogger.

Yes, there are many people who disagree with me who want to be paid actual cash money for writing a review or mentioning they received “sponsored” products, but for me, if I like something, I’m going to tell you about it whether it’s sponsored or not. <<<< long sentence alert

I used to feel obligated to tell the people of the internets all about a sponsored product I received and make sure I told the world about it in a succinct and proper professional manner. But times have changed. I’m the one in control of my blog and my online persona. I get to tell you want I want you to hear. I’m not controlled by the companies and PR firms sending me the free stuffs.

Yes, I’m a rebel.

OK, not really, but I do a good job of playing a rebel in my head. I’m also insanely rich, have a pet spider monkey, and can dance like Michael Jackson in my head, but that’s a different story.

Not everyone agrees with me, and that’s OK for me. I’m not sure if it’s OK for them, but c’est la vie. <<<< totally googled that

Above disclaimer aside, I’m in LUUURRVE with the Sorrelli jewelry I received this year to wear at BlogHer ’10. LOVE. Wanna marry. Would live in a cabin by a mountain lake for eternity with this jewelry.

Before I started blogging, I found out about Sorrelli because every gay man, woman, and rich child in my hometown was wearing it with everything from t-shirts to evening gowns. It’s stunning jewelry. When I started this whole conference-going thing and realized I could ask companies to send “sponsored” products to me in exchange for my opinion and spreading the word about the products, I twittered @sorrelli and asked if they’d want to participate in “Decorate Angie for BlogHer ’09.” Because I’m Awesome, they loved the idea, and they sent me and a few other lucky ladies some jewelry.

Jump ahead to this year’s BlogHer ’10, I asked again, and since they still love me, Sorrelli said, “Heck yeah, we wanna send you some fantastical jewelries!” or something like that.

This year, I received THE. MOST. GORGEOUS. necklace and earrings combo.

SOOOO, since that picture isn’t the best representation of the gorgousness this necklace embodies (is that even proper verbage?), here’s Sorrelli’s stock photo of the earrings/necklace combo (click on pics to see more about the jewelry on Sorrelli’s site):

Flat-out beautiful, right? If I want to be noticed (see: hair is fixed, clothes without an elastic waistband), I wear one of my Sorrelli pieces. It’s impossible NOT to receive a compliment when I wear one of my necklaces. It’s also a good way to pretend I’m important, and it distracts people from my fat belly rolls.

See? I don’t lie:

I can only hope that I’ll look this hot in these sexy panties (5 for $29 panties from Lane Bryant).

She totally has that “come hither and take this lace trim cami off of me” look.

Really, what’s sexier than a good sale. Not much, I’ll tell ya. Not. Much.

Except this guy:

Disclosure: I was provided a Lane Bryant gift card in exchange for the information I shared in this post. Still tho, it’s all my own opinion. I don’t lie. Nor am I shady. I’m also awesome. Obviously.