I kind of have the perfect family.

We are a family that pretends to push grandmothers off of docks into lakes.

Every Thanksgiving, my mom’s massive family gathers deep in the forest of Florida to hoot n’ holler & jump on trampolines & take walks in the woods collecting chiggers & catch chickens & throw marshmallows at alligators.

It’s kind of the best of everything.

Especially when my 27-year-old cousin gets called out and congratulated during the dinner prayer for bringing the same boyfriend 2 Thanksgivings in a row.

And also when a different cousin is questioned by our grandfather,”Who is this one?” when she brings a new boyfriend.

And also when the our grandfather is confused by the boyish-looking girlfriend another cousin brings with her.

And also when no one realized the aunt who always brings the mashed potatoes isn’t coming to the forest this year, only to have mayhem ensue thus forcing one of my cousins to send out her new boyfriend to the store for tubs o’ mashed potatoes during afternoon dinner only to have him get lost in the woods on his way back with no cell service. *cue Deliverance banjo music*

But the award for Best Moment of Thanksgiving in the Forest can arguably be the moment my dad finishes a joke he’s telling to me, Patrick, my 85-year-old grandfather, and my uncle with the punchline, “I know what you are! You’re a vagina!”

Moments like that are when I realize just exactly how I were raised to be the snarky-ass twisted mo’fo I am today.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 8 comments | Add to del.icio.us
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Grampa

Hay Ride

Father & Daughter

Trampoline Jumping

For all the other awesome Weekly Winners, click on over to Lotus’ blog.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2009. | Permalink | 16 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: kids, photographs, thanksgiving, weekly winners

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My grandparents just celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. My mom is the eldest of their 5 kids, all of whom live within a few hours of one another. There are 12 grandchildren and 9 great-grandchildren also all within a few hours radius.

Almost all of us get together at least twice a year for Thanksgiving and Easter and maybe once more a year for a wedding.

It makes keeping tabs (see: checking up on tattoos, boyfriends, unemployment, etc) much more personable than MySpace or Facebook.

We’re pretty traditional: divorces, step-kids, the gays, the rich uncle, the losers, the smart ones, the holy rollers, the cousin with 4 kids and 3 baby daddys. We make dirty jokes, we do vodka shots, we know who to talk to about politics, we know when not to mention the extra 20 pounds packed on. We laugh really loudly together, we play cornhole, we watch each other’s kids on the trampoline, we pick their tangerines on the way out, we swing under the oak tree and on the porch for hours judging whispering to about each other.

You know, the perfect family.

My mom asked to keep my girls for the night of Thanksgiving (tonight). HECK YEAH! I’m all about getting a few hours to ourselves. (No, there’s no hint-hint in there.)

But when the husband and I were making our rounds of goodbyes tonight, nearly every aunt, uncle, cousin, and grandparent gave us the ole “YOU’RE-GONNA-TOTALLY-DO-IT-TONIGHT-RIGHT?” look.

Uhhhhhhh… We kinda might have, but now that you mentioned it, there’s no way we can enjoy our happy-no-kids Fun Time with your faces in our heads.

Thanks, Grampa. You totally ruined my boner.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2009. | Permalink | 10 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Family, thanksgiving

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