My bitch fuse is about this –> | <– long.
Normally, under normal medicated normal circumstances, my fuse is longer but not by much. I’m normally medicated for a reason.
My drug of choice for lengthening my fuse is Zoloft, aka Happy Pills. Withouth said Happy Pills, Mama’s fuse is short (see: above). Mama’s been without said Happy Pills for 5 days. 5 days without Happy Pills starts withdrawal. Withdrawal from Happy Pills means brain zaps and very short fuses (see: above).
It’s not by choice that I haven’t had the meds of the Gods pharmaceutical help of the Happy Pill juice flowing through my nerves veins. I blame the puke/diarrhea sickness that made its way around MessyHouse in the past 10 days. I’m off of my routine, and getting off my routine causes brain farts and laziness.
That, and the birth control I’m on. (But, wait – didn’t I once mention that Mr Sir is snipped? Why, yes, he is – thanks for remembering details about my husband’s nuts.) The extra estrogen juice in my nerves veins is a preventative measure (duh) from getting pregnant.
Why the extra extra step for NOT getting pregnant (and putting loads of estrogen into my nerves veins)?
Pimples. Zits. Acne. BAD Acne.
And I have the skin of a pre-pubescent boy.
I’m starting Accutane in two months. And when a woman or girl or nun is taking Accutane, you have to be on TWO methods of birth control.
I was stupid enough to allow my body to go without Happy Pills while adding more estrogen.
Estrogen = Short Fuses
My poor, poor children were alone with me when the Bitch came back. No harm was done. No need to contact DCF. I’ll just owe them a lot of candy and game-playing while Mama rubs her temples and counts to 10. It might take 20 times counting to 10, but until the Happy Pills kick back in, Mama might need big little breaks. And some chocolate.
How short is your fuse?
And bring me a plate of fucking brownies already. NOW.
{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
I have a really long fuse. Even when I’m non-medicated I don’t get angry quickly. I’m weird like that.
*hands you the brownies, backs away slowly and pets your midgets*
Sarahs last blog post..The most random list in the world
@Sarah, PET THE DAMN MIDGETS – and leave the brownies
why THE FUCK do you ASK? Am I being BITCHY?!?!
flutters last blog post..It’s personal
@flutter, uh… no…. not at all *backs away slowly*
I tried to write this comment ten times but I kept getting ‘bad token.’ Love the new look, you have really gotten raw all up in here. Very cool.
@Joe, all raw or all rawr?
Smoke dope.
Cheaper.
I have a variety of fuses at pre-set lengths for different people and situations. This may have something to do with my emergency bottle of xanax and well-stocked liquor cabinet.
I remember telling women about the two types birth control requirement for Accutane (I work in healthcare). We would be having a friendly conversation and then they would whip out the crazy eye and get all “Excuse me? What was that you just said?!”
Jessicas last blog post..Tuesdays With Dorie: Devil’s Food White-Out Cake
@Jessica, i totally get the pre-set fuse lengths – they’re just all short now – poor people
Am busy wishing that large plates of brownies and muffins and cookies land on your kitchen counter. Oh, and tubs of ice-cream too, although they may do better in your freezer.
Withdrawal sucks balls.
And I forgot to say, I totally love your new layout!
@Vic, thanks for the brownies – and thanks!
I don’t even have a good reason when I’m a wackanut bitch towards my almost-three-year-old. Unless you count the fact that is has already identified all of my buttons and pushes them with his pointy little fingers ALL FREAKING DAY.
Marias last blog post..wordless – I see you
@Maria, my 4yo uses the ‘put you’re never playing with me’ or ‘what can i doooooo?’ card – i thought that didn’t start until the teen years
I can see why you would have a short fuse coming down from meds and all. That makes sense.
I wonder what my excuse is?! Um, I don’t have one. That just means I’m a bitch, right?
Ashlie- Mommycosms last blog post..Haiku Friday: Sick
@Ashlie- Mommycosm, i’m back on the meds, so we’ll see if the fuse lengthens – i’m betting not by much
I had my first pimple when I was 31. Honest. I don’t know if I’ve ever had another one. On the other hand – I’m old, fat, ugly and bald and hair grows out of my ears. I think I’d rather be 31 with pimples.
lceels last blog post..A Day Off
@lceel, i always thought that i would trade having acne for being overweight – now i have both – joy…
Hi, at least let me tell you about how I got my HIDEOUSLY DEBILITATING adult acne under control before you start the accutane. Sorry, it’s very traumatic. I was about to start accutane and I finally found something that pretty much cured me – a way of doing things, not specific products. I also wrote a post about it. Email me or dm me on twitter. @laurinandkelly
Laurins last blog post..I’ve Got Missedblissdomitis. Bad.
Meant so traumatic for me, of course. Was totally signing up for Accutane until I got it under control.
Laurins last blog post..Love This! – Tea Technology
Zoloft is my poison, too. Thank God for that.
Susans last blog post..
@Susan, i loves my pills
I bow to the pharmaceutical gods that make Cymbalta. It costs $126 a month and last week I tried to stretch them out and only take it every other day.
BBBBBIIIIIIIGGGGGG Mistake.
Luckily no children live here, but my poor husband was the target of my bitchiness.
Little Miss Sunshine States last blog post..Photos: Citrus Shopping In February
@Little Miss Sunshine State, a mama without her pills is like a baby without a boob
Losing total control of my life has shorten my fuse to lint length. Chocolate does nothing for me, caffeine – phaw, I need alcohol… but I have heard about chocolate infused liquor… that could be useful.
Tara R.s last blog post..Not even close…
my fuse is in the negative at the moment.
People are DYING here with the death stares.
Give me that damn brownie now bitch.
Please don’t harm me. I’ll bring leftover birthday cake!
Colleen – Mommy Always Winss last blog post..Weekly Winners – February 15-21, 2009
Altea is effective preservative that can freak you out. Yeah! now, I’m a fatty one, I hate it so much…
An Awesome post on Pauline´s blog … caffeine and acne
{ 1 trackback }