I’ve never been what you would call a “fashion plate,” but more of a “fashion emergency.”
Once I find a shirt or skirt or bottoms I like, I buy them in every color available. My favorite? $4 Old Navy Weekly Specials that wear out before the end of the season. bee tee dub… I’m wearing one right now that’s already pilled and scratching my arms.
Dead sexy.
For nearly every outfit I wear, I can bet you can purchase for less than $30 TOTAL.
Dead classy.
Sure, you can dress me up and take me somewhere pretty every once in a while, but that takes major planning and shoe pile digging and earring dusting.
Dead messy.
The following was picked out of the limited pictures I have of myself.
Same. Same. Same: khaki bottoms, solid shirt.
There are special times when I think I look better than my normal pink hair-dye-stained Obama ’08 t-shirt, shlubby 2-year-old chino shorts missing one of the buttons, and BRAND! NEW! pink! Crocs. Times with I actually fix my hair, put on actual eye makeup, and find actual nice jewelry to slap on.
My wannabe-turned-actual fashion plate sister is consistently nagging on me to “put on more makeup” and “here, wear this necklace” and “OH MY GOH HOW DO YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE LOOKING SO HORRID*?”
I have, what you might describe as, a precocious, opinionated, moody, 4-going-on-13-year-old little girl.
Apparently, she’s caught on to my failures as a fashion victim survivor.
I was dressed up to go to a friend’s birthday dinner in the bathroom putting lipstick on a pig dressing my eyes, when she came in to show me just how cute she looked in her frilly un-Easter, Easter dress.
That’s when it happened: the rest of my life.
“Mama. You need to wear a dress like mine. You look boring.“
Yes, kid. Yes. I do look boring.
And you, my dear child, have made your auntie very proud.
And and, this is my official application to What Not to Wear.
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*actual quotage
{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }
I asked my fashionista daughter to tell me if I ever start dressing like an old lady. There have been a few occasions where I get a brow lift, a barely distinguishable shake of the head and a slight frown. She keeps me from looking too bad and will go clothes shopping with me when asked.
Hopefully your fashionista will also use her powers for good.
if i told you i was looking forward to shopping at chicos, would you believe me?
1. You did not look boring at all, you looked very nice.
2. You do NOT need more makeup on. I prefer your natural color to paint
3. Nothing is more boring than my t-shirt and jeans/shorts, especially since I’ve had the same ones for 10 years.
.-= The Husband´s most Awesome last blog ..Cool Party =-.
thank you.
and yes, you need new shirts.
Well, you knew it was going to happen eventually with A Jackie/Chrissy kid!…. It is in her genes,,,,, But I too like the natural look…..I can hear her saying that to you!….. wish I could have heard that one!
yes, *thud* for little Jackie/Chrissy.
You look VERY nice, actually, and I am AMAZED that anyone can EVER pull off khaki’s, because I look atrocious in them. Like, you’d vomit. No, you would, don’t talk me out of it.
Right now, I’m in a ‘I’m not buying clothes because I am dieting and therefore look homeless’ mode. It’s hot. Want to make out?
.-= Aunt Becky´s most Awesome last blog ..There’s A Blaze of Light In Every Word =-.
always wanna make out.
I know, I feel like that because I weigh more than I should, that I don’t want to go through the trouble of buying clothes. First of all, I have a hard time finding my size (16p). Also,my spine curves in a little, which means that even if I weigh 120 lbs., spandex makes my ass look big. Which means a never-ending cycle of me feeling bad about myself.
I am going on vacation next week, which means that I am not dieting (it’s Paris, for Chrissakes- got a cheap airfare). But when I get back, I’ve got to buckle down. Monarch of the Seas. March 2011. If I keep up this lifestyle, I will start to look like the picture you posted the other day.
there’s not such thing as a diet in paris. EAT EVERYTHING, especially the salted butter.
You are HAWT!
.-= Mandi Bone´s most Awesome last blog ..Paperchase =-.
meh
You and your daughter sound like my mother and I.
Those brown shoes you’re wearing in those pictures are very cute!
.-= Miss Britt´s most Awesome last blog ..On losing control =-.
those brown flippy floppys ARE super cute! whoever picked them out for me is a damn genius.
Oh mah ga! Yea Trouble! I KNEW she’d turn out like me! Precious Jackie-Chrissy!
i may be sending her to live with you as your prodigy.
HeeHee! Shades of Jackie and Mrs. Ireland.
it’s just the beginning.
First of all, you look fine. Second? I don’t know why, but this is one of my favorite posts from you ever. Am I weird…or smart…or…?
You look FINE. Not boring.
.-= Melisa with one S´s most Awesome last blog ..If Not Now, When? =-.
you are weird, and you just became my favorite person OF TODAY!
I’m actually a huge fan of buying like five of any shirt I love, too. I usually lose one for like a year and then NEW SHIRT. But I still had four others to get me through.
I can usually be found in hot pink sweatpants. Or a red velour track suit. And I honestly prefer my pajamas. So I think that you’re doing fine.
.-= Alex@LateEnough´s most Awesome last blog ..Dinner Table Conversations Or Why You’re Happy We Married Each Other And Not You =-.
we’re like twins.
Holy crap, we were meant to be!!! I wear the same black capri’s and the same denim capri’s ALL THE TIME. I would totally throw my Khaki capri’s in the mix, except they don’t fit right now. LOL I also have my favorite cotton t’s in every color imaginable. That’s all I wear out. One day…maybe I’ll really mix things up and wear a dress.
And work, I totally wear black pants EVERY day.
.-= AmazingGreis´s most Awesome last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – New Life… =-.
i just bought the exact same pair of black capris as i already had because they are that awesome.
You don’t look bad, you look casual. Not at all homeless-y.
If you wanna see what LAZY dresser looks like I have some personal pics i could show you that would make you feel good about yourself.
.-= Peggy Brister´s most Awesome last blog ..Don’t you just LOVE serial killers? =-.
You’re awesome just as you are, woman. Really.
PS – We need to hang out. We’ll go shopping.
.-= Grumble Girl´s most Awesome last blog ..Perfect Cookies = Perfect Mum =-.
you gonna pay?
You & me both with the solids, sister. Although I recently ventured out of the world of khaki and into black (but always capris). What can I say? I’m a wild woman!
we are craaaayyyyzeeeeee!
Hi, been reading your “pearls of wisdom” for awhile, this however is my first comment since I am an expert on the khaki/solid top look, or as I like to call it the “mommy uniform”. If something works run with it! As long as there is not poop or chocolate on it, I am doing good. I was telling my husband just yesterday, I need to have clothes on that I can wrestle our wild 4 year old son to the ground in if necessary.
Also, I too am a Howard super-fan, I listen to the whole show most days. Missing him this week.
I distinctly remember, sometime in junior high, telling my mother that she looked boring b/c she only wore earth tones. I, in my neon glory with blue mascara and teal eyeliner clearly knew better!
I think of that now, when I look at my closet full of earth-toned clothes…
.-= TexasRed´s most Awesome last blog ..The Versatile Blog =-.
Oh Angie, I wear that same outfit I wear jeans instead of shorts (’cause we only have summer for a short part of the year, but we tell y’all that it rains al the time to keep the tourists out). Only thing – unless you are Mario Batali you should NOT wear Crocs. Really.
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