No joke, it is written in stone* that if Patrick Dutch Ovens me, he is immediately removed from my life, the house, and the children’s lives. We will consider him dead and expect the life insurance check to arrive within 2-4 weeks.
Unfamiliar with a Dutch Oven?
A Dutch oven is a slang term for pulling a cover over someone’s head while in bed and creating flatulence, thereby creating an area of foul-odored air in an enclosed space that must be inhaled. This is done as a prank or by accident to one’s sleeping partner. via Wikipedia
IT IS NOTED.
*Writing it on the internet is the first world version of the ancient practice of carving something in stone. It’s around forever.