I don’t even know who I am anymore.
Maybe my whole life before now was a lie. Maybe I just thought I was a non-working-in-the-kitchen housewife.
Is this real life?
A few weeks ago, I was at my sister’s house where she and my mom cooked up what I thought was an intricate, difficult, 26-1/2 ingredient linner (lunch/dinner) of Asian Pork Wraps.
We all, including the whiney children, fell over ourselves nomming up all of the wraps, leaving me to feel like the inadequate housewife I know myself to be.
Except, what they cooked up wasn’t intricate and difficult, nor did it have 26-1/2 ingredients. It was all a ruse. A delicious, delicious ruse.
The Asian Pork Wraps were actually made in the crock pot and had exactly 4-1/2-ish ingredients:
The Easiest Crock Pot Asian Pork Wraps EVER
4 lb. pork butt
1 jar of Kikkoman’s garlic and green onion teriyaki sauce (dump about 2/3 of the jar into the pot)
1/2 small onion, chopped (or some sprinkles of onion powder)
sprinkles of garlic powder
1 cup of water
Set it (for 7-8 hours on low), and forget it!
Remove hunk o’meat from pot, pull apart with 2 forks, add in remainder of teriyaki sauce to taste.
Whatever your grocery store has in a bag for Asian Slaw.
Romaine or Bibb lettuce.
Pile on sauced pork and mixed Asian Slaw.
Nom through the moans of ecstasy, having heaven in your mouth.
Patrick basically humped himself eating most of it up last night. He likes to add some heat with Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce, but not me because I’m a weenie and like things with about as much bite as a toothless baby nibble.
And that Sriracha sauce? I’m pretty sure Patrick will be bring it into our marriage bed the way he’s fallen in love with the stuff. I just hope he doesn’t think he’s putting it on me in any delicate areas. Heat rash just doesn’t belong in some places.