It’s been a long time coming, this one about my panties.
I’ve been putting off finding a new favorite style of underwear for far too long. You can see it in the holes and the way the sides of my current undies roll down my hips.
*Faces covered to protect the innocent.
Those very comfy, very stretched out, very beige, very cotton “hipster” Granny panties on the left are approximately 6 years old. They are made by Barely There and are a size XL, which in the obscure world of lingerie, equates to an 8.
Those very new, very not stretched out, very beige, very someotherfabricthatisnotcotton “hipster” Granny panties on the right are approximately 2 days old. They are also made by Barely There and are a size XL, or the obscure lingerie size of 8.
Obviously, I needed the new pair of underwears I bought shown on the right. However, they are not the same style as the ones on the left. They may both be very boring beige and are both “hipsters” and they are made with similar fabrics, BUT THEY ARE NOT THE SAME.
This does not please me.
I, and I’m sure many other women around the world, would like to purchase the same panties to which I have grown accustomed as replacements.
Holy underwear is not cool. OK, except in the case of a draft, and then they’re breezy. But I want to replace my holy underwears with new, SAME panties as the ones like on the left above that I’ve grown to love.
I want the panties that don’t roll down my hips, don’t bunch up my ass crack, don’t show out of the top of my jeans when I bend over, and don’t cut off the circulation to my legs.
With this, I’m filing a formal complaint to the manufacturers of women’s underwear.
Attention All Ladies Undergarments Makers:
Because of the curvaceous nature of my body, shopping for new panties is an unpleasant task. I’m not sure you’re aware of this fact, as you seem to think I like changing how my underwears fit on my nethers.
Women don’t like change in relation to how our undies fit on our bottoms.
Once I’ve entered into this period in my life known as a certain age, I am comfortable in a style and a fabric and a fit and price. Unless my derrière drastically changes shape and size, I stick to what I know.
When you, the panties manufacturers of the world, decide to change up your styles and fabrics and fits of your ladies panties, I, a women of a certain age, am unhappy.
Please, Hanes, Bali, Victoria’s Secret, Barely There, Soma, Fruit of the Loom, etc, when you make a panty and it sells more than 10 pairs, I need you to make them FOR LIFE.
I don’t want to have to go Commando just because I can’t find the new Perfect Panty. It’s not pleasant. Trust me.
But, I’m sure you know that because you’re in the business of clothing the unpleasantries.
Peace & love,
P.S. Let me know when you can make this happen. I have a drawer full of holy, breezy, stretched-out underwear that needs replacing. You’ll know I’m wearing the old, breezy, rolling-down panties when you watch me walk 10 steps, and I reach into my jeans to pull them back up around my hips.