Families are weird, yo.
In my family, my girls and I are unabashedly focused on our “different” hair. Anna (right) was born with a stray curl that didn’t go away until her hair turned into un-baby hair, and Claire (left) was born with a full mop on her head.
And my hair is pretty much just plain Awesome. Sorry, it is.
In our weird 1 dad, 1 mom, 2 kids family, we are all kinds of weirdness, hair included.
Even my niece and nephew have weird hair, or no hair.
One of the first books I bought for Anna when she was a baby was This Is My Hair by Todd Parr. Because, obviously.
The day I bought the book is the day I fell in love with Todd Parr. It was a natural progression, really. It’s un-possible for me not to love the author of a book about hair that is written with intelligence and funnies, illustrated with bold colors that nearly blinded my eyes. I’ve bought several more Todd Parr books since then for my kids and as gifts for other people’s kids. One of my favorite mom moments is sitting on the germ-ridden public library floor, reading Todd Parr book after Todd Parr book. The Mommy Book is one of my very favorites, durr.
Cut to March 27, 2012, and Todd Parr and I became BFFs when he tweeted to me:
— Todd Parr (@toddparr) March 27, 2012
All of this is really to tell you that my love for All Things Todd Parr is exponential.
So when I heard that some jackwagon Superintendent in Illinois was banning one of Todd Parr’s great works of fiction from public schools in his district because “those are issues that shouldn’t be taught at the elementary school level,” my protective Mama Bear side roared to attention.
Issues in one of Todd Parr’s books shouldn’t be taught in elementary school? The only “issues” I know of in his books are issues of “Awesomeness,” and to me, that doesn’t seem like it would be a problem to teach to kids.
But then I saw exactly what book was being pulled from elementary school library shelves in the Erie School District in Illinois: The Family Book.
What, pray tell, could be SO controversial in this seemingly family-friendly book as to cause its removal from schools so that the minds of the young children could not be molded ever further into depravity?
[WARNING: Hide yo kids! Hide yo wife! The following image (credit) could be dangerous to your children. Proceed with caution.]
This page in The Family Book by Todd Parr is an illustration of two pretty lady heads next to one another, and below, two fine gentlemen heads next to one another. The caption reads:
Some families have two moms or two dads.
THE CHILDREN MUST BE SPARED!
Because some families have two moms? Or two dads? WHAT WILL OUR CHILDREN THINK OF THIS BLASPHEMY?
Is it unnatural to have two moms or two dads?
Clearly, the confusion in children’s minds is incalculable when they see families such as these:
The Federlines: 1 Dad, 3 Moms, 5 Kids
The Duggars: 1 Mom, 1 Dad, 19 Kids
This 33-Year-Old Dude With 24 Kids
The Browns: 1 Dad/Step-Dad, 4 Moms, 14 Birth Children, 3 Step Children
The Cromarties: 1 27-Year-Old NFL Dad, 8 Moms, 10 Kids, 6 Different States
The Jolie-Pitts: 1 Dad, 1 Mom, 2 Adopted Boys, 1 Adopted Girl, 1 Birth Child, 2 Birth Twins
So NOW we can see how having just 2 moms or just 2 dads can be SUPER confusing for young children.