Use Me (To Raise Your Bar)

by Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] on February 7, 2013

in All About Me,Observations

That title makes me look like P!nk, doesn’t it? Like the Blow Me (One Last Kiss) song title? Just say “yes,” and we’ll move on.

In days, years, and blog posts past, I’ve shared my less-than-stellar skills with the whole housewifing thing. In summary: I suck.

I 100% suck at being a housewife.

There are hairballs in the corners of the kitchen and bathrooms. Which, OK, I have approximately 4-1/2 pounds of hair on my head that I shed like a sheepdog, but the fact remains, it balls up and gathers with the dust and lives in the corners.

I let my 7 -and 8-year-olds clean their own bathroom sink. That’s enough of an explanation.

This is a picture of what my girls did to their playroom from 2008, but if I were brave enough to take and share pictures of their rooms and mine now, it’s not far from the truth.

Messy Playroom

Our kitchen sink is never empty. Like, ever. There’s always dirty dishes waiting for the dishwasher and/or clean dishes “drying.” Fly Lady would have a coronary if she saw my sink. She says my sink should sparkle, but my kitchen sink hasn’t sparkled since early 2003.

Clean clothes have piled up in the laundry room/closet to the point that Claire gets lost under a mix of hockey jerseys, bras, and little girl tank tops every morning hunting for a matching outfit. There has been 2-1/2 baskets of clean, unfolded laundry sitting in my living room for over a week. One of them has now being used as a landing pad for jumping-off-the-ottoman children.

We’re not quote at the point of being filmed for an episode of Hoarders, but isn’t denial the first step of recovery?

My point here is that you can use me. Use me on which to compare your own messy house, saying to yourself, “It’s not as bad as Angie’s house.” Because unless you have dead cats buried under 5-year-old cottage cheese and newspapers from 1994, your house is not as bad as mine.

You’re welcome.

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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

1 GK Adams February 7, 2013 at 2:24 pm

I’m a new reader and am enjoying your blog. I don’t have children, but my dogs create a different kind of mess in the way of tons of dog hair floating about. It doesn’t matter how many times I sweep…the inevitable “dust bunny” full of dog hair will wistfully float around. Great post!
An Awesome post on GK Adams´s blog … Comment on Cats+Work=Fail by Rich Rumple

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2 Krystal February 7, 2013 at 4:20 pm

You just described me house to the T. Except for tomorrow, tomorrow we will be having a party so I will need to spend the rest of today and tomorrow cleaning, but I’m sure by Monday it will be back to the normal.

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3 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] February 7, 2013 at 4:45 pm

We’re having a party on March 17th. I have to start cleaning now.
An Awesome post on Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s blog … Open Letter To Men: Be A Man

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4 Rebecca February 7, 2013 at 5:03 pm

I won’t tell you how happy a clean house makes me. Or that I vacuum pretty much daily. Though I will say, the 5 year old cleans the bathrooms with his father. As the sole vagina in this household, I do NOT pee on the walls, therefore I will not clean pee from the walls.

The 4 1/2 pounds of sheepdog-like hair you have is what got me. In addition to being the only vagina, I am the only non-blonde. But that doesn’t, for one second, stop me from denying till I’m blue in the face that the chinchilla sized ball of black hair my husband pulls from the bathtub drain is NOT mine.

IT’S NOT!!
An Awesome post on Rebecca´s blog … Currently v.3

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5 Tarasview February 7, 2013 at 5:05 pm

I suck too.

In our defense we do WORK from home as well.

But ya. People can always use me to feel better about themselves too :)
An Awesome post on Tarasview´s blog … #WW – Swimming to First Place! LINKY

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6 Triplezmom February 7, 2013 at 6:58 pm

You have just made me feel so much better about myself – and explained the sole reason I watch Hoarders.
An Awesome post on Triplezmom´s blog … Ticked Off Tuesday: Freedom Edition

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7 Laurie February 7, 2013 at 9:27 pm

Oh, I could soooo give you a run for your money if you saw my house. If people are using your house to feel better, my house would make you feel better. I could say I’m cleaning for the next two days to get ready, but lord knows I need to clean for the next few *months* to get in a place where I’d be tempted to post a picture on the web.

Sadly, I may actually qualify for Hoarders. Or, I work too darn much and if I don’t do it it doesn’t get done… ;)
An Awesome post on Laurie´s blog … Pretty Your Blog: Add a Custom Default Gravatar

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8 thedavidcmurphy February 8, 2013 at 12:26 am

I used to be like you. Then my Wife and I moved in together. This morning, I found her scrubbing the baseboard in our living room. She’s 8 and a half months pregnant!
An Awesome post on thedavidcmurphy´s blog … Death Breath and the Expensive Couch Cushion

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9 Leigh Anne February 8, 2013 at 8:55 am

Folding = the suck. Not gonna do it. I’ll wash the clothes. I’ll dry the clothes. But if anyone wants that shit folded, they’re on their own.
An Awesome post on Leigh Anne´s blog … Need a ride, Lady? (AKA: The Dumbest Thing I’ve Ever Done)

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10 Adria February 15, 2013 at 11:59 am

First of all, I ADORE this post. Thank you for making me feel normal. Secondly, I ADORE you, especially after today’s grammar post. So it is in that spirit that I point out the following sentence in this post:

“One of them has now being used as a landing pad for jumping-off-the-ottoman children.”

<3

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11 Misty February 2, 2014 at 7:33 am

It is really a nice and useful piece of info. I’m happy that you just shared this helpful information with us.
Please stay us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.
An Awesome post on Misty´s blog … Misty

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