You have warning signs that both are coming but neither is avoidable.
Wailing on the bathroom floor is a sign of its process.
You hang out by the toilet.
Sucking on ice chips makes you feel better.
Unexpected bad things come out of your body.
You look dazed and confused for at least 24 hours after it’s over (see photo).
If you’re lucky, your mom will be there to take care of you.
People sympathize with you and do NOT want to be you.
You discover muscles you didn’t even know you had in places they shouldn’t hurt.
Passing gas, and only gas, is a sign of recovery.
…and such has been my life for the last 24 hours, minus the baby-exiting-my-bagina part.