It’s a good thing my grandparents were prolific breeders.
One of my mom’s 3 younger sisters and 2 of my cousins are regular readers here, and without their views, I feel like my pretend-famous blog would shrivel up to dust. This weekend, they told me I’m not posting enough.
Apparently, they don’t know how a feed reader works, so they come to my blog several times a day to see if I’ve updated. I’m estimating that their pageviews account for approximately 52% of my traffic.
I don’t want to make my regular readers angry, and they’re a hot group of family, so I don’t want to disappoint.
You don’t want to see anyone in my family get angry, because this is what a happy, laughing face looks like.
In this family, we’re as thick as thieves with fashionably popped collars on our skull & crossbones shirts.
We keep an eye on our sisters while they steal our shit.
But when we get angry, you’ll know it.
When we get sick and tired of your antics, we lie down and ignore you.
We keep the golf gallery quiet for our sisters when they set up to take a tee shot.
And we support our family when they make gender-bending fashion decisions.
We look KILLER-cute in a bubble suit and sun hat.
But we apparently don’t tell our sisters that they have insanely frizzy hair in her annual family photo when we take her picture. Jerk.
Dear family, you’re lucky to know me.