It’s the times when I have to clean my dog’s ass of dingleberries that I realize we, The People, are not all the same.
I think to myself, “Self, do you think Oprah has to clean turds off of her dog’s backside? Probably not, but then again, she’s not one of The People, is she…”
And when I think I’m acting like a regular lady and wonder if Madonna spends an hour in the mirror looking for a whisker she just KNEW was there, I realize she has minions who pluck those whiskers for her when she’s not looking.
Do you really believe that Kate Middleton has to worry if the Super Duper Ultra Tampax will protect her fancy underwear? Nope. She probably lives her life having 1-day Lite Tampax periods.
Gwyneth Paltrow may want you to think she lives her life just the same as The Rest Of Us, but unless you have your own quinoa farm and are married to a rock star who looks sexy when he sweats on your face, we are not the same.