What Do You Get When A Chicken Crosses The Road In Front Of You? A Lesson.

by Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] on March 20, 2012

in Being Mom,Farts and Other Stuff,Kiddos,Living In Florida,Pictures

There must be some kind of omen about a chicken crossing the road right in front of you. Or maybe an old wive’s tale. Or maybe this is normal when you’re not in Suburbia.

Watching a chicken cross the road right in front of your car isn’t something that happens every day to a suburbanite. Or really, happens ever in my Pleasantville planned community. Though I did see some girls riding horses on the main road through our manufactured town once, and it wasn’t even during the holiday parade.

A chicken crossed the road in front of my car this past weekend when I was out in Downtown MethHead, Florida with my girls, mom, sister, and her kids. I’m pretty sure I heard it cluck, “BAWK BAWK, MOTHERFUCKER!” as it passed by. Now that I think about it, that chicken probably knows Jenny’s Beyonce.

We were coming from the U-Pick, side-of-the-road farm where we picked strawberries with our own hands, and for the whole 20 minutes it took us to pick 6 quarts of farm-fresh fruits, we were damn farmers.

Clearly the chicken who crossed the road smelled our freshly dirtied feet from afar, and it felt safe crossing in front of my minivan.

Picking strawberries in the boonies was a teachable moment for our suburban kids.

“See, kids. Your food doesn’t really come from plastic bags! Your food comes from people with very dirty feet. And, kids, if you want some Oxy, you can follow that chicken back to its coop where it nests in some methhead family’s living room. Just bring me back some farm-fresh eggs.”

I’m never at a loss for finding ways to teach my children the ways of life in Florida.

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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Angie Uncovered March 20, 2012 at 5:37 pm

I grew up on a farm and I’ve never seen a chicken cross the road! haha That is awesome!
An Awesome post on Angie Uncovered´s blog … Are you into the group thing?


2 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] March 20, 2012 at 11:23 pm

I find that very bizarre!
An Awesome post on Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s blog … Grammar Rules! An Open Letter To All Marketing Representatives And Public Relations Professionals


3 Lance March 20, 2012 at 11:25 pm

The kids are adorable. great smiles.

so, the chicken crossed the road to get meth? Now that joke is funny.
An Awesome post on Lance´s blog … Sick Girl


4 Val Payne March 21, 2012 at 1:45 am

I was going to make a snarky comment about central Florida, but then I realized that you were eating freshly picked strawberries while I was hiding out during a blizzard. Maybe my Mom’s right, I should move to Orlando.

*shudder* Just got real – I can’t live that close to my mother or sunlight.


5 Cindy March 21, 2012 at 9:40 am

I’m pretty sure I heard it cluck, “BAWK BAWK, MOTHERFUCKER!” – this made me snort coffee out my nose. And I totally thought Beyonce when I saw this.

My 7 year old went to a farm stand for the first time last summer. She saw carrots and was AMAZED that 1) they were big and didn’t grow clean and bit sized and 2) they had green leaves attached to the top of them. It was a Mom-Fail for me in that she didn’t know what real carrots look like and a Mom-Win that I introduced her to fresh fruit and veggie stands FINALLY and that my 3 y/os will know fresh food when they see it.


6 Classic NYer March 21, 2012 at 2:42 pm

So, meth, huh? I’ve always wondered what was so damn interesting about the other side of the road.

By the way, around here it’s more like “why did the crackhead cross the road? To get to the chicken shack.” But yours is awesome too. 🙂
An Awesome post on Classic NYer´s blog … On intrinsic rewards


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